I'm not superstitious but....


I don't worry if I break a mirror or take a shortcut to avoid walking under a ladder. I'm not concerned when a black cat crosses my path and Friday the 13th is always just another Friday to me. So you could say I'm not superstitious and for the most part you'd be right but I do have some odd little quirks that might be interpreted otherwise if you didn't know better. 

I do occasionally worry about jinxing things which is a silly thing for someone who usually finds comfort in the logical. The last time I was applying for jobs, I got an interview very early on in the job hunt but in truth it wasn't a job I actually wanted so I didn't go. At the time I remember worrying that I had some how jinxed my chances of getting a job by virtually turning down that one. I didn't get another interview for quite some time and even though logic dictates the unlikelihood of those two facts being connected I was still prone to worrying I had somehow created the situation. 

another way in which I worry about jinxing something is when you start seeing someone new and you're feeling pretty happy so you are filled with the, super irritating, urge to tell all your friends all about it. In the past , on more than one occasion, I've raved about the new guy I'm involved only to have things promptly end. Now I do know that those facts are unrelated, really I do and I've certainly never had Someone end things citing my smugness ( about their liking me) as a reason. Despite all this I often find myself thinking, oh maybe I should have kept that to myself , in the aftermath . If one was to believe in Murphy's law then it could be easily be believed that its entire purpose is to prevent me from getting too comfortable. even with this irrational worry weighing on my mind, my behaviour remains unchanged. I don't do things by halves and when I'm
Happy I can't seem to do quiet, keep it to 
Myself sort of happy. It has to be all up in your face and annoyingly smiley. The sort of behaviour that backfires when it all goes to shit and you find yourself having
to endlessly explain what happened there. 

I also used to have a thing about star signs. Well I've always enjoyed reading about my personality as dictated by my star sign and seeing which parts I relate to. As for the predicting your week/year/month I know that part is 99% bullshit. Once I read somewhere that the job of writing horoscopes in a magazine is usually given to which ever writer that has 
Nothing to do and yet I still used to read mine selectively. By selectively I mean that I would ignore all the bad stuff because star signs are rubbish right ?but I would feel a little frisson of excitement when I'd read about some thing good ahead. wondering if I'd have met that guy if I'd gone out on Wednesday night ( just like my horoscope said I would) and where is that money that was supposed to come my way. Then I remember that in all likelihood someone made up the horoscopes for kicks and I go back to reading a book or doing something less redundant with my time . 

So you see, I'm not really superstitious at all 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more