Why am I not skinny yet?

As many of you might have guessed, I have regained my desire to be back in shape and always its a difficult and frustrating process. Is it wrong at this point to say that it seems blatantly unfair given that the weight I put on was done with ease and I would nearly go so far as to declare it effortless on my behalf. By that I mean I did very little bar exercise no restraint and do virtually no exercise at all for a number of months. Sure I was exhausted and felt pretty terrible about myself but it was hardly hard work. In recent weeks I have found my resolve to try reverse this process. 

 In case you are wondering how this is going, I would say mostly slowly but I know if I can find the will power to stick with it I will get there. I have done a few workouts both at home and in the gym and survived them all. Mind you I did almost black out at my first Crossfit class in many months and at the moment I can't fully extend one of my arms but that's mostly because the muscles in it have seen so little action in so many months that they do not know what has hit them.

 I have been staying strong in quitting sugar, I think I'm about two months now without so much as a chocolate chip, although I have wavered a little. I am eating less and eating healthier and admittedly I am seeing some results in that my stomach looks less pregnant and my face is starting is starting to show a shape that is considerably less round. All good things but at the same time I mostly feel like I haven't shifted a pound and I still can't get into my fat jeans. I also have a gorgeous pair of size 8 jeans in my wardrobe that I'm afraid to so much as look at yet because they probably wouldn't get past my knees and I would only start crying or throw them out the window. 

 Logically I know that these things take time because I have been through this before but I know it would be so much easier to stay strong in the face of delicious but very bad food if I could see myself making progress faster. It certainly makes it harder to ignore the siren song of sourdough bread when my cellulite and muffin top merrily mock me from the mirror because really you'd think what difference could it make.

 The good news for me is that Crossfit has gotten its hooks into me again and I am already missing the post workout buzz so that's likely to keep me motivated and I might even fit in a workout at home soon just as soon as I can straighten out my poor arm. I look forward to the day, hopefully not too far off, when I start getting fitter and the numbers on the scale inspire something other than a sense of horror in me but that day is not today. 

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