Christmas for grown ups

I have always been a big kid around Christmas. Obviously at one stage I was an actual child but while I have physically grown up, there is still part of me that gets a bit fizzy with excitement at this time of year. I like the music and the presents and the buying for other people. In fact I often reach a stage where I have bought for everyone (which can be pretty early in as we do Kriskindle so I only have to buy a big present for my sister and not a whole lot else) and I start inventing people to buy for just to keep shopping. I love how we have the whole family together and my niece still believes in Santa which helps keep some of the magic alive in my parents house. Admittedly Im less enthused about the crowds and the frenzied air that Christmas brings. 

 Now as Im sure anyone who follows my blog is probably well aware of the fact that I haven't really had a proper chance to celebrate Christmas the last two years. Social care is an area I have always wanted to work in and while I love many things about my work the 24/7 nature of it would not be up there. The year before last was pretty miserable. I was on a month of night duty (my least favourite thing in the world) from the middle of December to the middle of January and one of my weekends of night duties (fri to sun) encompassed Christmas eve and Christmas night so I didn't go home on the day itself. I wasn't coherent enough to drive so I went down on Stephen's day instead and was too sleep deprived to do anything but lie on the couch for a day or two. So a Merry Christmas it was not. Then last year I had to work a half day Christmas day which was a huge improvement on the previous year but still sucked a lot of the anticipation out of the whole season. By the time I got to my parents house, I was over the whole thing and not even enthused about receiving presents ( and I love presents). This year however I am working a half day Christmas eve (monday) and then not back in to start night duty (bummer) until the Friday night so I will actually have a proper Christmas.

 I feel this year I have a whole lot of making up to do and I am sure working my hardest to get myself in a festive mood. So far this has included having my nieces over for a sleepover where we watched a Christmas movie and made decorations. That was really nice and not at all me getting small children to make my decorations for me. I also crafted.
        I also got myself my very first beauty advent calendar. I have wanted one for years but always end up looking longingly at them online and then realizing they have sold out before I have even finished pricing it. But because I receive Birchbox ( a beauty subscription box) monthly they contacted with a discount on their advent calendar before it officially went on sale and I spontaneously ordered one and then somehow waited 6 weeks with it sitting in my living room without so much as a sneak peak. It was worth the money I spent and the time it sat unopened because I've only opened two days so far and the feeling of anticipation for what the next day will bring is positively delicious. 
     I have listened to Christmas Fm on two separate car journeys on a work related Christmas shopping trip and my own. I now have Nathan Carters 'christmas stuff' stuck in my head but other than that it left me with warm fuzzy feelings. And I got most of my Christmas shopping done before the shops went totally bananas which has left me feeling pretty good too. I am leaving a little bit because I'm not ready to have everything done and wrapped and to have to wait another year for that Christmas shop feeling.

 Because last year I was having a rather messy fling with my ex (and thus still buying him a present) and for several years previous, I was actually dating him so putting a ridiculous amount of thought into getting him a lovely gift while he reciprocated by buying some things that I was pointing directly at which meant I liked my presents but wasn't exactly surprised by them. Anyway this is the first year in a while I haven't had a boy to shop for so instead I am using that money to spoil myself. And spoil myself I have. I must say its a lovely feeling.

 So with 22 two more advent doors to open (meaning 22 mini presents to be received) I am looking forward the Christmas countdown and in pursuit of festive feelings I will be doing as many Christmassy things as I can between now and then and embracing my inner child as much I can

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