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There often seems to chasm between expectations and reality and I know this well as my hopes lie in the cracks that line the path between the two. I find New Year's Eve to be a prime example of this. Year after year I built myself up for this supposed ' best night of the year' and endlessly found it coming up short when New Years turned out to in fact be worse than your average night out and I'm surprised I didn't anticipate it when all the signs of a disastrous night loomed large each time. For starters New Years means town is busier than any other night of the year and I've never been a fan of crowds. In fact I wonder who are these people who actively enjoy feeling like sardines in a tin on a night out plus when you're me anyway New Years doesn't involve anything all that new or different so you find yourself paying admittance to a nightclub or bar that you weren't all that fond of to begin with and there's more people in there than its capac

The carrier - Sophie Hannah The blurb: "when her plane is delayed overnight, Gaby Struthers finds herself forced to share a hotel room with a stranger: a terrified young woman named Lauren Cookson- but why is she scared of Gaby in particular? Lauren won't explain. Instead, she blurts out something about an innocent man going to prison for a murder he didn't commit, and Gaby soon suspects that Lauren's presence her flight can't be a coincidence. Because the murder victim is Francine Breary, the wife of the only man Gaby has ever truly loved. Tim Breary has confessed, and even provided the police with evidence. The only thing he hasn't given them is a motive . He claims to have no idea why he murdered his wife...." Sophie Hannah has written seven books prior to this one, all psychological thrillers and having read and enjoyed them All I knew what I was getting myself in for. So much so that I didn't even know what the plot of the new book was un

Home is where my parents live. My childhood home where I spent most of my life thus far. I happen to live in another city in my own apartment but it doesn't feel like home, it feels like a temporary dwelling that will do for now. Much to my parents relief I Have no intention of ever moving back home but that doesn't mean I don't want it to be where it always was. My parents have been trying to sell the house on and off for about two years now,and I know this makes me a terrible daughter but I'm glad it's a terrible tone to be trying to sell a house as I'm not site how I'd feel about coming home if or wasn't there and I'm certainly not happy about the thought of strangers living there. This is the house where I grew up and it might be cold and damp but it holds so Many memories. My whole childhoods is in there. We no longer have the tumblr dryer I once got stuck in (not recently ,). Back then it was kept in the kitchen with the washing machine

*sidenote 'blogging what is' is not a horrible grammar mishap but instead a Turn of phrase I'm using to describe writing a blog post everyday regardless of whether I feel inspired to. I have a mind that never shuts down. Even When I really, really wants it to. It's constantly running in the background, thinking about books I've read or customers I've dealt with, reminding me of song lyrics I haven't heard in years or worrying about things that will ultimately work themselves out in the end. Sometimes it's just pretend dialogue running through my brain like a less terrible radio play. I'm sure this last one is either a sign of madness or creativity but I'm going to say it has creative origins because that makes me feel better. I've always had the urge to write, I spent a lot of my teens writing melodramatic poetry and thinking I was the next Sylvia Plath ( I wasn't ). but even then I had a voice and I used it maybe a bit too Liberall

So as part of the lent 40 Day challenge I am doing with the gym ( no wheat, sugar and minimal dairy) I am constantly looking for new things to eat. But here's the problem, I am a fussy vegetarian so finding things I can eat that actually look appetizing. So I was in work tidying cookery books which a sneaky way of browsing and I already knew that normal cook books have too Much of everything I can't eat, the gluten free recipes overflow with sugar and the vegetarian recipes are positively bloated with wheat. And then I found 'Paleo living for dummies' which merited further investigation so I borrowed it to read ( at home, they frown upon me actually reading the books while working ). At first I was feeling pretty excited, I'd already given up wheat and sugar , how hard could it be and there were many health benefits and it sounded like it might actually fix things like my stomach problems but enthusiasm only lasted until I hit the food list - what's allowe

It's true. I'm reasonably intelligent and of fairly sound mind and I frequently give people good advice but somehow I can't seem to follow it which is probably why my life is a bit of a mess. I'm sure there's more than one person In work that thinks I'm a bit mad when I'm refusing sugar and wheat ( no cakes for Laura , she's had enough ) and just sitting quietly in the canteen reading Byron Katie. Not to mention the fact that in the last few weeks I've checked out paleo for dummies plus fat chance ( the anti sugar manifesto ) yet despite all this and my other attempts to lead a healthy life I am so prone to stress it's beyond ridiculous and it's holding me back. I get stressed About my diet ( being a stress eater this makes me want to eat crap which is not a helpful default reaction), I get stressed about my job, I get stressed about my bills, my car, my overall lack of direction in life and then every so often I remember that I suffer fr

To anyone that's ever met me this is not going to be a shocking revelation but I just Wanted to say that I am not a morning person. I don't wake up and leap out of bed, it's more a cases of groggily opening one eye and peering suspiciously around my room trying to work out why I'm Awake when clearly there's more sleeping to be done. I find I function best in the mornings when I can go at least an hour of being awake before having to interact with another human being ( inanimate objects on the other hand I can tolerate immediately upon waking) when I was younger and lived at home this was not a option As I tended to summoned in the mornings about half an Hour before we left for school so I would slink downstairs my uniform askew to sit monosyllabically at the kitchen table . Gingerly adjusting to the light and morning noises. My brain not quite switched on yet, on more than one occasion I poured a glass of juice only to put the glass ( full of juice) back into

Sometimes it feels like the path to fitness is an upward struggle and I just keep on falling down. Sometimes my days off work In my favour and I can make it home for a few cross-fit classes but other times I find myself going four to five days without making it to a class which makes me sad and feel sluggish like a slug. On the days like this I have trouble motivating myself out of bed for work never mind to get up earlier and work out. I think I secretly live in fear that if I go too long without working out that I'd lose interest and give up and go back to being the old lazy me. On some level I know this isn't the case and all that's needed Is a class or two to beat me into shape. I suffer from a shocking inability to motivate myself when I design my own challenges, I put it off, I loll about in bed. I'm too tired and too cold and I just don't feel like it. For every reason to be out of my bed at 7 am working up a sweat with a kettle-bell I have an equally v

Reason to breathe - Rebecca Donovan The blurb " In a town where people worry about what they are seen in and who they are seen with, Emma Thomas doesn't want to be seen at all. She's more concerned with feigning perfection - which means pulling down her sleeves to conceal the bruises . Emma doesn't want anyone to know how far from perfect her life truly is. But when Emma unexpectedly finds love it challenges her to recognize her own worth, at the risk of revealing the terrible secret she's desperate to hide. " When I picked this book up In work it was in adult literary fiction, It wasn't supposed to be and I know had I found it in teenage fiction where it belonged I might have been able to see beyond the appealing cover and saved myself a few hours. The plot of the book intrigued me when I read the cover but I was expecting well written prose and instead I got a watered down plot that skims over the big issues. From a few pages in it was clear that

Did you ever have one of those days where all you feel like doing is climbing into bed with a book and just shutting out the world ? well I've had one of those days, in fact I have had many of those days. That statement could go so far as to Sum up most of my life. Books have made me laugh , learn and want to go on reading forever. They have also bored me, annoyed me and disappointed me but they have never hurt me and people have. now I'm Not saying all people fall into this category and there are not times where I do want to engage with the world but there are also times when I don't and I can hear the gentle hum of the book in my bag( and I always have at least one on me at all Times) saying 'read me, read me' I have read books that are technically well written but that fail to grip me and I find myself so unenthralled that I will find offer things to do that take me away from reading and when I complete these sort of books I end up treating it like a homew

1) I make a lousy patient. Today I woke up with my first head cold of the year, so close to spring I thought I'd escaped the waves of sickness going around work. I am feeling pretty sick and handling it badly. My whole head feels as though its encased in cotton wool, my skin is feverish and I've a nose to rival Rudolph's, almost worn away from blowing it. I've been sloping around work all day feeling very sorry for myself like someone with something much more serious illness than a common head cold. 2) Selling anything remotely like porn To older ladies makes me very very uncomfortable. I had time to muse on this when I was on the front till today and older lady came up to buy a pretty well thumbed copy of lace ( racy 80s book that's just been relaunched ). I don't know what was worse the fact that the book looked like she'd read quite a bit of it before coming to pay or the very pleased expression on her face. It gave me a likely too much insight into he

The anti dote -Oliver Bergman In the anti dote Oliver looks at what is wrong with the pursuit of happiness through relentless optimism and positive thinking. It makes for a fascinating read and you can tell from the outset that this isn't your usual self help nonsense, I'm not sure of this could even be classed as self help. It is more a look at the flawed way of thinking that is pushed upon us by motivational speakers and self help gurus. He examines how constantly thinking positive ( or trying to) only serves to bring negative thoughts to the forefront of your mind. To think positive you have to suppress all negative thoughts and as soon as you start doing that you think more About the things that you are trying to suppress. Another interesting aspect of this book is where he takes a look at stoicism and the benefits of it as a way of thinking. Stoics believe that it is not the things, people or events in your life that are stressing or upsetting you but the thoughts o

Will Grayson, will Grayson - John green Blurb"one cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, two strangers cross paths . Two teens with the same name running in very different circles, suddenly find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, culminating in heroic turns-of-heart and the most epic musical ever to grace the high-school stage" this book is about two boys called will Grayson who lead very different lives but its also an exploration of what it's like to be lonely as a teenager and the difficult of. Fitting in. one will Grayson is a gay teenager who hasn't come out yet and that falls in love with a boy he has only talked to online and the other spends his whole life keeping his head down and his mouth shut so as not to draw attention to himself but with larger than life, very camp tiny cooper as a best friend that's next to impossible. There's something about the way John green writes his characters that draws you in, they are neve

Here's something I know to be an absolute fact. I am a fussy eater, the dinner guest you never want to have and I had grown fairly complacent in my fussiness. And Id accepted this was a done deal. For a brief few years during my childhood I ate what the rest of the family was eating Without complaint but then for some unknown reason started refusing food which I'd decided i didn't like . Going to elaborate measures to avoid finishing dinner and often being force fed until my parents tired of the constant fights About food and gave in agreeing that I only had to eat the food I said I liked and the insane thing is I carried this forward into adulthood and in my mind ( though it may as well have been a written list I kept in my pocket) I had a very short list of things I would eat and a very long list of things I would not. For many many years there was No movement on either list. It's difficult to explain but I had incredibly firm ideas about my capacity to Enjoy cer

The card pictured below was made by my six year niece who told me 'I'm drawing you in a dress because girls should wear dresses' as I sat there In my jeans and t shirt and considered myself told. I find spending time with nieces to be an enlightening experience and I learn all sorts of things. I'm sure for the most part times have moved on but when you're a six year old girl who's still Hoping to be a princess I'm clearly letting the side down with my very unprincess like clothes. I find if you want honesty small Children are a good bet, they have not yet learned tact so will be happily be upfront With you. I was niece sitting so my sister and husband could do a course in the UK and the six year old tells me she was sad her mummy would be away so she wasn't looking forward to me coming to stay and that she didn't think we'd have any fun. The good news for me was she had changed her mind about the fun, as I put them to bed they both told me

Today I spent my day niece sitting ( much like baby sitting only with nieces) and while doing some crafty type things with them I realized my Artistic talents don't quite surpass those of my nieces which would all be well and good if they weren't four and six. Now to be fair to myself I am a reasonably smart girl so I wasn't exactly lumbering under the impression that I was the next Van Gogh. I think I was napping when those genes were handed out as it seems that I am the only member of my family who the opposite of gifted when it comes to art. My junior certificate offering was a particularly surreal mermaid sculpture my family still laugh about but I don't think surreal is quite what I was aiming for. Over the years I've learnt to come to terms With my artistic limitations and i Take comfort in the fact that I still hold the power to impress very small children ( if no one else)with my efforts. We were making some quality sparkly fairy crafts today ( taken fr

So I'm lying on the couch feeling too tired/ lazy to move and thinking about all the things I need to do before I head to Clonmel to assume babysitting duties and I'm running through a list in my head. Lists are my thing because I am compulsively over organized. That and I don't travel lightly. I'm not a one bag and off I go kind of girl. To go home I will be packing a bag of food ( everything bar breakfast but this is mostly because I'm so Damn fussy but also when you're trying to eat clean ,and I am , you really need to plan your meals which helps avoid getting too hungry and eating the first thing you see), a bag With Clothes ( a spare outfit, gym stuff and sleepwear) , my laptop , 3-4 books and toiletries. And how Long am I going home for you might ask. 3 days, that's all just three days. And yet I arrive home with more baggage than I can comfortably carry In one go. This is just what I do, I plan, I make lists And take great pleasure in checking

Every so often I veer away from self depreciation and slip into a slightly more introspective mode and tonight Is one of those nights. I've been looking up recipes online to contribute to the gyms nutrition page and its got me thinking about living without. All throughout my twenties this was a foreign concept to me, I did not live without. If I wanted it I ate and yes I was miserable but I never say the connection between the misery and the food. Besides if things got me down too much I could always have some cake or chocolate . Somewhere around my mid twenties I became aware that wheat was not my friend and that eating a lot of it made mr feel unwell. So I did what any sensible wheat dependent person does and kept on eating it. Sure I couldn't imagine a life without wheat, what would I even eat? I was already a vegetarian eating a limited Range of vegetables so unable to contemplate any alternative I soldiered on in denial until about two years ago when I started trying

Sometimes I worry that for all the bizarre or funny or filthy stuff my brain decides to hold onto I'm losing valuable information. Like for example the fact that I still remember that a dendraphiliac is the name for a person who has sex with trees ( check urban dictionary if you don't believe me) even though I read it somewhere years ago. Does that mean I have forgotten some vital piece of information just so I can have that conversation starter ready to go. I certainly hope not because its only one of many bits of useless information that Goes rattling around in my head. So the picture below is of a card that reads 'boyfriend there's a party in my mouth for you' and then inside it says 'will you be coming' hilarious but oh so inappropriate. That's the kind of valentines card I could get behind as it goes against all the saccharine crap we seem to be peddling in the spirit of good ol saint Valentine. Anyway one of the girls found it while browsing in

I think a lot of people while in their 20's have some sort of idea of where they'll be in their life by the time they reach 30. I know I certainly did and let me tell you this is not quite what I pictured and now that I have less than a Month of being 30 left before I turn 31 (eeek) and I'm finding it small comfort that I'm frequently told I don't look it. Consensus seems to be that I look 22. it's a compliment and a nice one At that but if all I've accomplished in a decade is that I've gotten fit and allegedly look 22 well then it's not much to write home about. I was reviewing the life I have versus the life I thought I'd have and found myself coming up short. I'd completed college With a half decent honours degree ( in social care )and it seems I peaked there. Since then I've enjoyed the joys of unemployment ( not that joyous) and worked in two call centres before getting my current job in the book shop. Now don't get me wrong

Quiet: the power of introverts In a world that can't stop talking -Susan Cain Blurb- "for far too long, those who are naturally quiet, serious or sensitive have been overlooked. The loudest have taken over - even if they have nothing to say. It's time for everyone to listen. It's time to harness the power of introverts. It's time for quiet" this non fiction book takes an inside look at the mind of the introvert and examines their place in society drawing on case studies plus shedding light of the minds of Some more famous introverts. Personally, I found this book to be fascinating Although I will admit it took me a while to get into. I, myself am an introvert and I wanted to read about Aspects of being an introvert that I could personally relate to. I think a lot of what I enjoyed About the book is,that in explaining the nature of an introvert, it made me feel more normal in regards to My desire to have downtime where I find interact with others and

Okay so firstly I have to tell you that the title was a lie designed to lure you in or something like that. Hallmark would probably not appreciate me slandering the holiday they created. So I'm going to come out and say it. I don't see the point in Valentines day and I think the whole thing is a con. Im not and never have been a fan of this so called holiday/marketing opportunity. It's probably for the best that I'm single because god help the poor chap who'd Have to buy me something for Valentina day. I'm off sugar so that rules out chocolates. I'm not four so that rules out teddies giant or otherwise and I really don't see the point of flowers that are only going to wither and die within Days of receiving them, I have already cynically reviewed the Valentines gifts we sell in work. We have teddies for over €100 and I'm going to come out and say it, if a guy I was dating went out and spent that kind of money on a teddy I'd be forced to dump

An abundance of Katherine's -John green This story centres on 17 year old Colin who is renowned for two things, he was a child prodigy and he only dates girls named Katherine. He has dated 19 of them to date and when he gets dumped by the 19th Katherine he embarks on a road trip with his best friend in an attempt to get over her. Instead of travelling the country they end up spending their summer in the first backwater town they stop in. Yet another coming of age tale from John Green. I found myself drawn In early on and despite the main character being overly aware of his own intelligence abc slightly self absorbed I still found myself warming to him and investing in his story In a way this reminded me of the perks of being a wallflower. It's easy to see why this is a writer so many teenagers are enamoured with and I do feel if I was ever to grow up I possibly wouldn't find his books quite as appealing

I don't know if these are a thing that anyone outside my family eats these but I used to eat them as a kid and in a bid to reintroduce more protein in my diet ( I'm non fish eating vegetarian ) I've given them another go. I've recently discovered the joys of rice pasta but if you're not wheat intolerant you can also just use regular pasta. What you need - makes two burgers -2 eggs - half a cup ( dry) rice pasta - low fat grated cheese ( about 1/4 block) - pinch of salt Add a pinch of salt to a saucepan 1/2 filled With water and bring to the boil. Add the rice pasta to boiling water and then reduce to a low heat. Cook until pasta is soft ( should take less than 5 mins) then drain pasta. Break two eggs and beat them until mixed throughly. Grate the cheese and mix with the egg and then add pasta to the mixture . Stir with a fork to ensure Its fully blended Turn on a hob to a medium heat and put a frying Pan with a small amount of oil on it. Allow to heat

Since I went off sugar I've become borderline addicted to Natasha's coconut slices (see below In tin foil) but at €4 a pop it's a pricey habit to have so I'm finally after getting a recipe to Make them. see Photo below. I know they don't look like much but they smell good -wont get to taste test until later. To make them you will need Coconut oil Cocoa powder ( green and blacks do a nice organic one ) Dark agave syrup Salt Desiccated coconut this recipe should make around 8 coconut slices. add 6 table spoons of coconut oil to a saucepan on a low heat Then add roughly the same amount of cocoa powder ( I went with 5 table spoons) and mix that With the melted coconut oil. Add a pinch of salt and a good squirt of Agave syrup Then slowly add the desiccated coconut to the saucepan until the mixture starts to look a little crumbly. Or as my sister says stop before it gets too white :) Then spread the mixture into a baking tray and let it cool, leave it in t

Ok so it's just a tiny hangover but my point still stands. I nurse one measly glass of wine over 3 hours in a pub and yet despite this I still wake up Sunday morning with a throbbing headache and a mouth that tastes vaguely of sock. I look accusingly at my socks and then remember ah yes the glass of cheap pub wine that I paid a ridiculous sum of money for. That's all I drank because I was being broke/good both to my waistline and my liver and also because I was remembering the disaster that awaits me in work today . if I'm going to spend the four hours cleaning then at the very Least it would be nice If my stomach didn't lurch with every movement. another thing worth factoring in is aside from the badness in the drink itself I know from past experience that hangovers make me very permissive about my diet and I think I might cry if I fall off the sugar wagon so soon. I think one of the things I've been hearing a lot now that I'm considered to be in the ranks

so, how was your Saturday ? Mine was insane. anyone who knows me is aware I've been planning a princess party for the last two weeks and today was d-day. The party was due to start at 3 so I had the art stuff ready and the bunting was hanging and to be honest I was a little worried No kids would show up. I had contacted the schools and put it on our Facebook plus posters in store so really I should have known. After lunch I changed into my princess outfit ( see below- the best i could do at short notice) and already there were princesses gathered in the children's section. By then I realised a no show was not something to be worried about and. by three there was an ever flowing stream of princesses into the shop, a lot of rapunzels and sleeping beauties and Cinderellas and even a pumpkin and wizard, there's always one or two who don't conform. I even said to one customer, who was in with his daughter, oh I've never seen this many princesses in one place and he

If I had to do it all over again I'm not sure that I would Or what I'd change. I've stumbled on every step If I could just quiet my mind For one day One hour One minute And hear nothing But my evened breaths. I know without question, I would Stress tightens every fibre that Makes up me and I feel my back curl as it Clenches muscles like A hungry snake If I could just be anyone but me I wonder if I would One hundred mammoth tasks To do and all I want is the sweet oblivion of sleep

Today I spent my day making bunting for Saturdays party and I'm aware this does not sound like a stressful pursuit. Honestly The making bunting part was actually quite relaxing. As an adult I really don't get enough opportunities to colour in :) The bit where I start getting stressed is when I realise I don't have time to hang the bunting, kept getting interrupted by actual work I was supposed to be doing and I'm off tomorrow and I wanted the place to be decorated. I almost considered talking the bunting home to finish and that's when I knew I had a problem. Next thing you know it's home time and suddenly I'm stressed, I'm wound tighter than a tightly sprung coil and I hear this voice in my head saying I want some f*$king chocolate. It almost makes me laugh when I hear it and think Yes there goes my stress response. normally I am happy to oblige and before I became Health conscious I'd be happily munching away on chocolate without Even being awa

Ten things I've learned about love - Sarah Butler. This is two different stories that intertwine. Alice has returned home from travelling to be with her family as her father is dying and Daniel is a homeless man searching for the daughter he never met. book I must admit the cover of this book intrigued me and when I read the blurb I thought it could go either way. It wasn't a bad book but it wasn't a great book either. I feel like the same premise if written by an author who writes literary fiction could have been something mor. it was good for what it was, some light popular fiction that probably won't leave a lasting impression

1) you get very excited by sparkly tights ( they were for work and not casual wear but still ) 2) you volunteer to dress up and It's not Halloween 3) you feel a little put out when your nieces stick with all the worst outfits when completing a sticker dolly dressing 4) If you own several picture books and none of them are from when you were a child 5) You've read most of the young adult books in the Bookshop you work in. 6) you are actually disappointed when you you realise you could have bought a pink light up tutu for your princess costume 7) If you've ever bought a teen magazine , as an adult, post break up because its guaranteed to not have any articles that make you feel like a failure 8) If you still laugh at the same sexual innuendos that made you laugh in your teens 9) if you have to admit that you don't actually like the taste of alcohol but you don't mind the taste of drunk ( a good reason to not drink often :) ) 10) If you've repeatedly cut y