bookshoplaura

Sometimes late at night a thought creeps into my head and it won't go out and then the possibility of sleep evaporates. Last night was one such night.  Now I will admit as someone who suffers from anxiety that I am more than capable of making a mountain out of a molehill but in this case I had a genuine worry on a loop in my brain. It went a7 little something like this. After working a very busy day on not enough sleep  (thanks to stomach pain caused by somme very delicious spelt rolls consumed the day before). I arrived home the sort of exhausted that leaves me feeling very sad. I arrived home to an empty apartment with no idea where the other half was but I was el was shattered  and I fell into bed with my book. I thought I had reached a point where I would surely succumb to sleep and I switched off the light, settled into bed and bing ! The anxiety circus began. Each anxious thought spurned another andbI tried to quiet my mind, to close the tabtabs but my anxiety was ru

It would not be unusual for me to say I have fallen off the wagon. Indeed I am no stranger to it. Usually I dust myself off and kickstart my healthier life wherever I left off. At this point in time I would say falling off the wagon does not do justice to my current state of being. Not only have I fallen off the wagon but I have chopped up the wagon and used the kindling to make a fire. It's not a pretty thing.  I'd love to give you a saga of how I got myself in this predicament and have it be something both terribly dramatic and not my fault but alas it is both very boring and there is no one else to blame except me for my michelin man like figure. It goes a little like this, I was tired one day and skipped the gym and once I'd skipped one day, missing another was only too easy and that was about two months ago. Then to compact that I was feeling a bit stressed and a lot sad so I ate every feeling I had which may not be the healthiest response on an emotional le

It's hard sometimes to be an introvert in this very extroverted world. People expect something more than introversion in social settings and it takes its tole. When I am getting ready for a night out I need a few hours to build myself up. Some quiet time at home or else the whole idea becomes a bit overwhelming. I am aware I am not the only one who feels this way but sometimes I can't help feeling we introverts are in the minority. I sometimes find depending on how my few days in work have gone that I might be totally unable to do anything vaguely sociable on at least one of my days off. This magnified by my propensity to take on the emotional baggage of those around me like some kind of pointless sponge and it leaves me carrying the stress and anxieties of those I have been in contact with long after I go home. As if that wasn't enough to drain me then couple with my stress eating sugar binge of late that never seems to end even though it often feels like I am o

After pretty much abandoning my blog, I felt the time had come to return. I don't quite feel myself when I am not blurting out my thoughts online and clutching a book I am half way through. I have been working as a health care assistant for over two years nw. It's tough and tiring work but I love it. You couldn't drag back to any of the jobs I had before pursuing healthcare if you tried. Ultimately though my goal has always been to get myself a job in social care because that's what I went to college for.  When I changed jobs to work in residential facility for adults with disabilities, that was always my end goal. I was only delighted to get a place on the social care panel in March just gone but maybe a little less delighted when four months passed and I was still just a name on the list. I had hoped to  stay in the house I work now. There is comfort in what you know after all. Plus I work with a fantastic team and we support a really lovely group of individual