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Showing posts from January, 2019

How to move on (from someone still working it out)

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I have been working in the care sector a few years now and every time I change jobs or even just client group ( I have already moved twice within the same organisation) I get really upset. I guess this is probably a sign I am in the right line of work but it sure doesn't make the goodbyes any easier. When I left Bluebird Care to go work in residential, I had been working long shifts with same young woman for over a year. As you do in my line of work, you form relationships and become attached and I remember getting into my car after my last day with her and bursting into tears and then proceeding to cry the entire drive home. In hindsight I probably should have pulled in as driving on the motorway while violently sobbing is not a particularly safe way to travel. Over time I became less sad about what I had left behind as I built relationships in my new place of work. When an opportunity came up for me to move into my first social care position, this meant leaving the residentia

Retracing my footsteps.

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Fifteen years ago I spent a year working as an au pair in Lausanne, Switzerland. It was an incredibly beautiful part of the world but not all my memories from that time are happy ones. The family I worked for were difficult to live with and didn't pay me very much so I was too broke to do half the exploring I would have liked. I have one particularly memorable experience where I went sleighing in jeans and runners as I didn't have the money to even rent proper snow gear. I would not recommend it. Also au pairing does not provide you with very many opportunities to meet other people your age so parts of my time there were quite lonely. I ate a lot of fresh bread and swiss chocolate and tried raclette and fondue. I saw a lot of snow and pretty little towns and mountains. I went to my first outdoor baths(heated pool outdoors in an incredible setting), lavey les bains, and I learned a lot of french but mostly needed the help of kamikaze ( a potent cocktail drunk as shots) to have

This flawed woman

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Like any woman or person for that matter, I have parts of myself I am not proud of. I have shadows in my past and I know this is part of what makes me human. As someone dating I know that the general idea is to sell yourself but Im a pretty rubbish bragger and there's a reason I wasn't cut out for sales. I've always been a little more comfortable putting myself down (mainly through the medium of sarcasm and self depreciation). I suppose I'm getting better in measuring my own self worth but I could still throw together a list real quick of things that might make me less appealing to a potential partner. Now I've been going through a fairly introspective stage, more so than normal which is really saying something. So every so often I have a particular thought and rather than skipping over it like the Laura of old, I pause and wonder what it actually means. I suppose I can probably blame counselling for that particular habit. Not that blame is the appropriate word

The single chronicles

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I have had so many entertaining encounters ( mainly on the inter web) during the last 18 months or so of singledom that I could probably write a reasonably entertaining book if I put my mind to it. However this particular post isn't about those, bear with me and you'll see. One of the weird and annoying things I find men online are constantly saying to me is how am I still single. I've been single before and I don't remember being asked this question with this kind of frequency. Now I'm probably in the best shape of my life at the moment so perhaps that is a contributing factor. What annoys me so much about this question is the unspoken assumption that because a guy finds me attractive that I should have been snapped already. As though every single woman is desperately longing to be someone's other half and the only reason you wouldnt be is that no one would want to go out with you. Now perhaps captain subtext has lost the run of himself here and I am readin

Sleeping in the New Year

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New year's Eve is one of those nights that seems to promise so much that it can never really live up to all of your expectations. I can categorically say I have never had a New Years Eve out that didn't turn out to be a massive disappointment. This New Years Eve for me was a kind of special one as it marks four years since I stopped drinking. To be fair I can't say I've looked back. I mean sure I am definitely less sociable and I have taken the social awkwardness up a notch but I haven't actively wanted a drink in that time. I think its fair to say that if give up any unhealthy substance with the kind of ease that most people give up their least favourite vegetable then you have probably made the right move. I celebrated New Years in the same vein I celebrated most of Christmas, quietly and unnoticed by all those bringing the party to this so called party season. To say I infact celebrated New Years is slightly misleading because I was mostly celebrating that it