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I'm known as the member of my family who is a bit of a big kid when it comes to Christmas. Mind you I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'd say it's fair to describe me as childlike in that I haven't let go of some of the more pleasant attributes of my younger self ( very different from childish). I like the lights and decorations and how excited kids get about the whole thing and the whole family getting together for the day.  I remember a good few years ago not being granted the annual leave I'd applied for over Christmas bso I could get a good few days off together and being very upset. Then I went on to work in social care and this will the third year since I started in this line of work that I'll be working Christmas day and I do laugh at my younger self who didn't know how good she had it. I'll be trying my best to make the most of Christmas on the days I am off. Watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas songs and

On my last night of decent sleep before I descend into night duty induced fog, I'm preparing myself in many ways. One of the least helpful things I'm doing is feeling pre anxious because the greatest knock on effect for me when I'm robbed of decent sleep is that my anxiety levels sky rocket. I worry a lot of about how much sleep I'm getting or not getting to the extent that I often find it hard to get my daytime sleep because I've effectively worried myself out of it. I'm a smart woman so I know this is not a helpful impulse and yet here I am. I have had this generalised anxiety for as long as I can remember but it moved from a backround hum to a noticeable simmer several years ago after coming out of a very challenging and controlling relationship. It left its mark on me as clearly as though I had been branded by the experience. This is not to say I've stuck my head in the sand and hoped it would just go away on its own if I didn't actually ackno