I think my gym pants are trying to kill me

Today, I got home from work and wrestled myself into my 3/4 length gym pants and reluctantly talked myself into driving to Clonmel for a class. I hadn't a week day off since the previous Tuesday and in the week that passed I had not done anything more taxing than walking up stairs plus to top it off when it came to food I had been a very bad girl indeed. 
To make matters much worse I also got my period this morning so I couldn't be sure how much of the wobble was bloating and how much was fat. All I can tell you for certain is that on the drive to the gym, it felt as though those pants were attempting to cut off my circulation at the waist and I may have paused in my car,once parked, to poke myself in my squishy belly as a reminder of why I had gone to the bother of dragging myself to a class when I could be lying on my couch at home.

 In my defence, I have none really. I know better. After all this time I have learned certain things and these are indisputable facts. 1. I am an emotional eater. 2. when I am tired I make all of the bad choices. 3. I cannot eat any wheat or sugar without feeling sick and I can't have anything more than very small amounts of dairy, spelt flour, honey, maple or agave. So it's not like I encountered any surprises this weekend. I know in my last blog post I mentioned my night out where I was sober as a newt because I was saving my money for food. Well the silliness started before then. On Friday morning I went food shopping without breakfast and almost left the supermarket unscathed until on a whim I picked up a loaf of sliced pan - spelt and honey and that's when it all went wrong. I had some mad notion that I would be happy with one or two slices and then I could pawn it off on my house mate or Stephen but before I knew it, it was Saturday night and it was all gone into my belly. So when I woke Sunday morning after not enough sleep I was craving all the bad things. 
I skipped breakfast due to feeling a bit ugh and a few hours later I was out in ardkeen stores buying the softest loaf of spelt and honey plus one of those really bad stevia chocolate bars and almond butter and nakd bars. From then on I couldn't help myself. I had too many slices of spelt bread with butter and almond butter and it was beyond delicious and so soft. I'm not sure what I enjoyed more, the bread or the guilt. Even as I was enjoying it, I knew full well that it was really fattening and my stomach would be in bits for days but there's no point in trying to talk sense to a sleep deprived Laura. 

 I did try to offset it with a really healthy dinner but I may as well have been dipping an apple in chocolate and trying to justify it as one of my five a day. All this tiredness made me feel a bit down and for some reason whenever I feel like this I don't like healthy food. 
Today I was craving chocolate so badly ( I blame my period) that I bought a coconut slice which is full of agave syrup and thought damn the consequences. So tonight when I was all squishy and my liver was making all sorts of vomity feelings inside me, I knew my uppance had come. But I got my ass into the gym so that's the first step and in a few days I'm sure my body will have forgiven me my indiscretions and I wont be quite so sick and maybe if I'm lucky in a week or so those gym pants might be a little bit more forgiving on the waist. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out....
Read more

How long does it take to learn to drive?

Image
I remember my nieces a year or so back asking me in an incredulous tone how long it takes to learn to drive because for as long as they could remember I had L plates on my car. The answer in my case is four years. Admittedly I probably could have gotten my full licence sooner if I hadn't been so hesitant to do my test in the three years that have passed since my last attempt. I get very anxious during tests or Interviews and so do not perform particularly well at either. I will put that in my list of things I need to work on in the new year. In time since I have learned to drive I feel I have accomplished a lot and yet I will go out of my way to avoid having to parallel park because I feel like its always going to be my Achilles heel. At least I have come a long way from the days when I used to feel anxious about getting into my car and was likely to bunny hop across roundabouts in third gear. The problem with learning to drive is that the older you do the harder it is and...
Read more

Burnout: the sequel

Image
  I am burnt out. Hardly the most shocking declaration given I have been saying it out loud for a while now but here we are. This isn't my first run in with burn out nor will it likely be my last. Not only am I working in a stressful job, a social care worker in residential care, which is no stranger to burn out but also I am autistic so its like I know a secret short cut to getting there. I think as bragging goes this is up there with declaring how many times I have managed to catch covid. Which is 4 at my current count and they say there are no benefits to working in Health care. If you are lucky enough to not have experienced burnout then I can tell you its not an experience I would recommend to a friend. If you have friends working in social care then you probably wont need to.  Some of the things I have been experiencing are random bouts of crying. Given high sensitivity is part of my autism profile, I am no stranger to crying and the first time I experienced burnout it t...
Read more