Woman seeks miracle on a budget

If there's one thing I know about myself for certain , it's that i have a tempestuous relationship with sugar. It's my nemesis for sure. So I'll probably never get my own superhero movie with that premise but  I have long since made my peace with my innate ordinariness as a person. Myself and sugar have wrestled continuously for years now. I manage to quit it completely and go through all the horrible steps of sugar withdrawal but all the same I watch sugary treats from afar as though it is a secret crush of mine and all the while I know sometime soon we will be reunited.

Do I return to sugar because I am an emotional eater with no proper outlet for my volcano like emotional eruptions or perhaps I have abandoned myself to the inevitability that I will return to sugar some day for a brief but torrid affair. I seem to live only in two lands. One where all sugar is forbidden or another where I much cram as much sugar as possible into me before sense prevails and I find myself detoxing again. I have been going around on this merry go round for far too long now and I only wish I could quit it for good or exercise some of this moderation I have been hearing so much about. In the weeks or months when I am on the wagon or 'being good', I make up for my sugar famine by allowing myself to while away the days with bread (sourdough or spelt) and given that I am gluten intolerant this is not to be recommended either for the waistline or digestive system.

I Just need to glance in the mirror at my pudgy midsection or dimpled thighs to remember one of the many reasons I would like to eat better. I am not searching for a detox or diet because I am smart enough to know they don't work. They are a fairy-tale sold to discontented women everywhere leaving out the happy ending. To be fair if any diet really worked long term it would kill that whole market.

I write this in the wake of yet another sugar binge and failed attempt to quit it. My efforts will continue and I will drag myself through the sticky withdrawal all over again. I haven't found a miracle but I have just put in an order the latest wonder protein (Bulletproof Collagen) and a coconut oil that my sister claims killed her sugar cravings. I'm guessing it's worth a shot. Maybe one of these days I'll get there and sugar will lose its lustre for me but until then I'll keep going one sugar free day at a time. 

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