How to cope when you've broken the wagon

It would not be unusual for me to say I have fallen off the wagon. Indeed I am no stranger to it. Usually I dust myself off and kickstart my healthier life wherever I left off. At this point in time I would say falling off the wagon does not do justice to my current state of being. Not only have I fallen off the wagon but I have chopped up the wagon and used the kindling to make a fire.
It's not a pretty thing. 

I'd love to give you a saga of how I got myself in this predicament and have it be something both terribly dramatic and not my fault but alas it is both very boring and there is no one else to blame except me for my michelin man like figure.
It goes a little like this, I was tired one day and skipped the gym and once I'd skipped one day, missing another was only too easy and that was about two months ago. Then to compact that I was feeling a bit stressed and a lot sad so I ate every feeling I had which may not be the healthiest response on an emotional level but did not need to be totally catastrophic. I am not a quitter so I just to continued to be a savage until I was no longer sure if I was eating because I was sad or was I sad because of what I was eating. The only thing I could be certain of is that my endless sugar binge wasn't making me feel any better. Mind you it never does but  God forbid I actually do myself a favour and learn this lesson the easy way.

This is the particular set of circumstances that has led me to where I am now. A very chunky monkey and I am not exactly loving the curves because it feels like my body is one big curve. Not that it happened overnight. I could see the pounds creep on through my veil of denial and icecream. 

I think I have reached my breaking point or at least I hope I have because the sweets aren't fixing anything and jeans are no longer my friend. On the plus side I have survived two whole days without absolutely gorging myself. It's quite sad how much of that achievement that is. Not to imply that I have been anywhere near as healthy as everyone I know on an official diet but there's been no sugar which is a really big deal right now. So I'm on the cusp of something it's either the return to healthier living or the slow decline into sugary madness because right now I feel pretty sad or really tired and they both kind of feel the same.Only time (and sleep) will tell but don't give up on me yet, I might have it in me to build a new wagon.

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