Be someone that makes you happy

I've not been having the greatest of weeks. I am not sure if there is any particular reason for this but my mood has been low and I can feel it hanging over me like a cloud threatening to spill rain. 

 Over the last year or so I have been working that bit harder to look after myself and to give me what I need. I decided some time ago that I needed to be the someone who makes me happy because leaving that up to someone else hasn't exactly turned out to be a fool proof method.

I started writing this blog post about two weeks ago but I was really struggling to form a coherent post expressing myself clearly and so I shelved it but now as I go into my second last night shift of the fortnight, the overall message seems more poignant somehow.

 For me one of the main elements of making myself happy is building self care into my week. I am the person best equipped to meet my needs at any given time and I try to keep this in mind on a daily basis.

 Sometimes this means giving myself space to feel sad or down and to wallow in these emotions for a short space of time while acknowledging they too will pass and most of the time for me it is brought on my exhaustion.

 It also involves going to the gym even when I'm tired or emotional or just couldn't be less enthused about the prospect in the knowledge that I always feel better after a class.

 Sometimes it involves dragging myself out on a walk and doing whatever I can to keep me walking until I have at least hit my step count especially when I feel sluggish or lazy because fresh air helps and even if I'm listening to a podcast or just dragging myself along like a sulky child, I still get all the benefits of being outdoors.

 Being on nights has really hammered home the important role good food and adequate sleep play in my well being as I have had insufficient amounts of both over the last while and I can feel the detrimental effect its having on my mental health. I have been feeling pretty low the last few days and it's been tough to keep my head up but I'm doing my best.

 I am trying to rest when I can, train when I can. Have some treats (but not go totally mad) and just go easy on myself because I know as I catch up on some much needed rest that this weight on my chest will lift and  I will emerge from this fog, more than the half person I currently feel.

 Right now I need to keep my head down and get through these last two nights and just go easy on myself if I am not sleeping as much as I'd like in-between and then I have a hike planned Saturday and just a nice chill out day Sunday and I might even go all out and have a pamper day because if there's anything I know how to do well, it's to take good care of me. 

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