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I'm known as the member of my family who is a bit of a big kid when it comes to Christmas. Mind you I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'd say it's fair to describe me as childlike in that I haven't let go of some of the more pleasant attributes of my younger self ( very different from childish). I like the lights and decorations and how excited kids get about the whole thing and the whole family getting together for the day.  I remember a good few years ago not being granted the annual leave I'd applied for over Christmas bso I could get a good few days off together and being very upset. Then I went on to work in social care and this will the third year since I started in this line of work that I'll be working Christmas day and I do laugh at my younger self who didn't know how good she had it. I'll be trying my best to make the most of Christmas on the days I am off. Watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas songs and ...

On my last night of decent sleep before I descend into night duty induced fog, I'm preparing myself in many ways. One of the least helpful things I'm doing is feeling pre anxious because the greatest knock on effect for me when I'm robbed of decent sleep is that my anxiety levels sky rocket. I worry a lot of about how much sleep I'm getting or not getting to the extent that I often find it hard to get my daytime sleep because I've effectively worried myself out of it. I'm a smart woman so I know this is not a helpful impulse and yet here I am. I have had this generalised anxiety for as long as I can remember but it moved from a backround hum to a noticeable simmer several years ago after coming out of a very challenging and controlling relationship. It left its mark on me as clearly as though I had been branded by the experience. This is not to say I've stuck my head in the sand and hoped it would just go away on its own if I didn't actually ackno...

I haven't written anything for quite some time and I think in some ways I felt I'd said everything I needed to say but this reflective piece has been brewing for quite a while and it's taken me a bit of time to decide what it is I want to say.  So this is the year I turned 37. An age startling enough that it continues to surprise me as someone who feels they are likely to be outed any day now as a teenager hiding in an adult body ( 15 going on 37) faking being a grown up and hoping to not be found out.  This is also the year I've had the most adventures. I branched out on my own and spent a good year making excuses before finally getting off my ass and renewing my passport and I've been making up for lost time since then. I've been away for a week to Wexford, to Edinburgh, to Switzerland, to Killarney, Amsterdam and in a few days to Galway. All of those trips bar one have been solo adventures and there's something great about heading off by myself wi...

So I'm coming up to my two year anniversary of joining the ranks of Singledom. I'd say I've used my time pretty wisely. Lots of adventuring, solo holidays and getting to know who I am outside of a relationship. I've had one teeny tiny blip. I've mentioned before that I've been doing the whole online dating thing. I haven't been going on nearly as many dates as I could because I refuse to cancel plans I've already made with myself and I've been fairly damn nonchalant about the possibility of meeting a potential partner from one of these dates. Anyway just over a month ago I agreed to a date with a guy I'd been chatting to. Now upon meeting him I liked him but I wouldn't have been 100% on our compatibility. Turns out he was sure enough for both of us and he was saying all the right things and I fell into the trap of enjoying coupley things. I was so sure it was going somewhere that I told my mum about it and closed my dating profile. Sp...

After a whole lot of talking and a small bit of planning I found myself on a flight to Geneva last week. I was finally returning to Switzerland feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Could I get by on my rusty french? would I recognise Lausanne? would my return stir up unpleasant memories of one of the loneliest years of my life? What would I eat?. The last one is a worry whereever I go, Im kinda a pain in the ass but my suitcase had a substantial quantity of snack packs of oat crackers and almond butter so I probably wasn't going to starve. I arrived in Geneva airport before noon on Monday and was a little too pleased with myself when I successfully got myself onto a train to Lausanne all by myself. It wasn't too complicated. I bought a ticket from a machine and then followed a bunch of well placed signs. The views on the train journey were beautiful and I was fizzy with excitement by the time I stepped off the train on the platform in Lausanne. Thanks to googl...