Reinventing Laura

 

On Friday I found myself on a spontaneous hike in the comeraghs alone and it caused me to have a moment of introspection. admittedly there is nothing new here as an introvert, I do a lot of my best thinking in the outdoors alone.

I moved to Kilkenny to start over just over 5 years ago. A decision prompted by the fact that I was already working in Kilkenny and the end of a long term relationship. What I didn't realise until much later was that I had lost my sense of self while dating and my fresh start caused me to reinvent and rediscover myself in the all the best ways. 

If you met me back when I lived in Waterford then you probably wouldn't recognise me now.

In the absence of the shadow of someone else I paused to think about who I wanted to be and outside of drinking (which I had decided to quit mid relationship) what I actually liked to do with my time as opposed to what I was expected to enjoy and thus a new era of introvertedness came upon me.

In embracing myself more, I came up with a much more interesting and perhaps more polarising answer to the age old question, what do you do for fun.

And what I discovered was this; I am in fact outdoorsy and not just as in drinking wine on patios. I love to be outside by the sea, by the mountains, near a lake. If there is scenery then leave me there and I will be happy as a clam. 

That I could collect seaglass for literal days, although I am now a changed woman and abandon it at the end of my walk rather than cluttering my house with jars of it but my mind knows no peace quite like a seaglass hunt. 

That I can lure myself outdoors just with the promise of a good scenic photo, after years of never really bothering because I didn't know how, I have discovered that actually its something I really like and while I don't have much in the way of technical prowess and do all of my photography on my phone, it still sustains me and gives me a happy little buzz.

That I am an active person and taking a week off the gym no longer means I m ight never go back but is just that, a break and Ill be right back in there kicking ass and taking names upon my return. Also in shocking news, it turns out that joining a gym in Kilkenny and thus training consistently every week produces much better results than my previous regime and being a badass kind of suits me.

That There is joy to be found in travel alone. Over the past few years I have taken many a trip by myself and had absolutely the best time doing all the things I want to do exactly when I want to do them.

That If you are happy sitting in watching a show or reading a book rather than being out on a weekend night then there's no shame in admitting it. 

That I am the person responsible for my own happiness and my only objective in dating is to find someone who adds to this.

Overall I think I like this version of myself best of all but I am open to new lessons about myself and whatever the future may bring.