Info dump on me

 When I first began exploring the possibility I could be autistic, one of the things or that threw me as I didn't seem to have any special interests or at least none that presented the way I had been led to believe special interests did.

This is one of the many ways the big focus on autism as it presents in young boys, is doing everyone who does not fit that category a huge disservice. It is a big part of the reason so many of us fall through the cracks. we are missing all the signs because we haven't been told what to look for. 

I started to uncover more about this side of myself when I did my deep dive, this involved reading up on autistic women, listening to autistic voices ( if this sounds like scientific research I will have you know it mostly involved watching tik toks) and teasing it out in therapy.

I discovered this, special interests among autistic women often present a little differently than they do in men and also they can have layers. So you can have a strong or intense interest in something without necessarily  being able to info dump all the facts on it on any poor soul who accidentally brings the topic up in conversation.

So upon reflection my interests are categorized as such. The top tier special interests include books/ reading , psychology and my job ( social care worker in residential care). as far as I can tell from what I have come across the first two are incredibly common interests among autistic women.

I have always been an avid reader, known to have a book on the go and have been known to chose handbags on the basis that I could comfortably fit a standard paperback in them. I don't have a litany of facts on hand about books but I could comfortably have a conversation without a set end point with someone on books if they too are a reader or have shown more than a passing interest. Then there is psychology / certain areas of neuro science or sociology. Psychology has always been fascinating to me and I find it incredibly easy to retain information on this topic and regurgitate it. Its an area I would love to study in more depth and I once looked into studying criminal psychology through open university but had to abandon the prospect because it was going to be ridiculously expensive and I had no plans to use the information for anything practical. Interestingly there is a theory being floated about that so many autistic women develop an interest in psychology because they don't intuitively understand human (for this read neuro typical )behaviour and they go looking for insight or some sort of cheat code to navigate social situations.

 I have also read a book on sleep several years back and I have to use all my restraint to not info dump when someone innocently mentions something about their sleep pattern in conversation. A relatively new special interest of mine that fits this category is Autism and particularly autism and how it pertains to women. I have been collecting information about Autism and collating it in the scrapbook that is my brain and everything I learn makes me want to know more . I am also prone to sharing unasked for tid bits at will right after telling someone I am Autistic And lastly my job, I am working in a field that I am passionate about, that I have trained for and that meets a lot of my intrinsic need to feel as though I am doing something worthwhile. Also I work long hours and as an autistic woman this takes an awful lot of my energy so its very easy to fall onto this as a conversation topic. Plus it is an area I know a good bit about and my professional persona is relatively confident so you can see how its easy to choose her over my awkward self.

The middle tier are the things I have a strong interest in but couldn't necessarily speak on with any great authority. For example I really like seaglass and will happily spend hours collecting it without any set purpose and I do know more or less how seaglass is formed but I probably wont get much beyond this is something I really enjoy doing and look at all my very pretty treasure if it came up in conversation.  Another thing that fits this category is Crossfit, more specifically the weight lifting part. This is an important part of my week and I prioritise getting my classes in. It regulates me and ads a sense of routine to my days off. I really love being strong and having this acknowledged. I will happily tell people about a workout I have done recently even if their knowledge of Crossfit is vague enough that I have give a demonstration or detailed description of what we did so they can get scope of what I am talking about. I have also told people my body weight as a point of reference before I let them know a weight I was lifting. Sometimes I get a bit excited about something cool I did in the gym and I will tell someone who really does not care but I wont let a little obstacle like that stop me. Despite this I am no expert and have been known to flex a new muscle at my boyfriend and say is that a lat? ( a back muscle). Also in this category is photography. I paid extra for the phone I currently have because of the quality of the camera. I love to take scenic photos, share them online and show people my favourites. That being said I don't know any of the technical stuff and  I am not sure I would go to the hassle of trying to learn it.

Then there is the bottom tier. At the moment the main thing that resides here for me is Criminal minds. I am on maybe my fifth or sixth rewatch of the entire show start to finish and despite its gruesome content it is a real comfort watch for me. However I came across an account on social media where a lady was dissecting particular episodes and I found that I did not accurately recall a lot of what she was talking about. I know what I like about it. I have always enjoyed police procedurals, criminal psychology is inherently fascinating, I enjoy the dynamics between the team and there's a few autistic coded characters in it and you know what maybe that's enough.