The lost art of adulthood

I have found that being an adult involves a lot more paying of bills and a lot less eating ice-cream in my pyjamas than I envisioned when I was younger.
I wish someone had told me, as I rushed to be more sophisticated, more grown up, more adult that this is what it would be like and I might have taken my time getting here. A lot of being an adult seems to be faking it until you either work out what's going or someone calls you out for being the fraud you feel like most of time. I still can't help looking around when someone calls for a grown up until it dawns that's me, I'm the grown up. I can't help wondering if that feeling ever really goes away.

 I think I pictured myself more together, my life in a neater order and not hastily thrown together as I do my best to cope with adult challenges without consulting my mum too often. Then again I also use to discuss sharing a house with several close friends without even contemplating children or partners. If that had turned into a reality , it would be a lot more awkward than a teenage me had daydreamed about. 

Life as an adult involves a whole lot of responsibilities and consequences to every action and as one of life's perpetual worriers I find myself stressing more than I should about all of these. All I really want to do is colour in ( in my adult coloring book), eat chocolate ( without getting fat or sad) and have lots of naps. None of which are particularly adult activities but being an adult isn't everything it's cracked up to be so can you blame me for wanting to run away sometimes. 

 I'll continue to indulge my inner child, she's more than the grown up me but I'll still make time to plan for my future and do all the responsible adult things I'm supposed to.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more

How long does it take to learn to drive?

Image
I remember my nieces a year or so back asking me in an incredulous tone how long it takes to learn to drive because for as long as they could remember I had L plates on my car. The answer in my case is four years. Admittedly I probably could have gotten my full licence sooner if I hadn't been so hesitant to do my test in the three years that have passed since my last attempt. I get very anxious during tests or Interviews and so do not perform particularly well at either. I will put that in my list of things I need to work on in the new year. In time since I have learned to drive I feel I have accomplished a lot and yet I will go out of my way to avoid having to parallel park because I feel like its always going to be my Achilles heel. At least I have come a long way from the days when I used to feel anxious about getting into my car and was likely to bunny hop across roundabouts in third gear. The problem with learning to drive is that the older you do the harder it is and I wa
Read more