bookshoplaura

In the last few months my life has been through many changes and this is hardly a secret to anyone who reads my stuff here or follows me on Snapchat. Admittedly at a first glance it may appear that I am over sharing but in my own way I am really just processing the upheaval in my world and connecting to those around me through a filter of my choosing. I dont mean filter in the photo sense but more that my words are carefully selected to project someone I am trying to be if that even makes sense. Now I will admit readily that it has taken me a long time to over come my self consciousness about small things like eating in public, particularly alone. I have often felt as though I'm being watched and judged at every moment and it has taken me a long time to realise strangers dont care about what I am doing nearly as much as I do. I can now eat lunch or have coffee pretty much anywhere with only half a care in the world with my book or my phone for company. I am nothing if not a wor...

They say you can't pour from an empty cup which is why it's important to take care of yourself. Especially for those of us in caring professions. You can end up giving a lot to your job but if you don't take care of yourself then you will have nothing left to give. Now as someone who cares for others and tends to take far too much of my job home with me I try to particularly mindful of this. Especially as I find the nights (which are thankfully almost over) take even more out of me than caring does. Nights are quite lonely in that you work alone while everyone is asleep and then come home to sleep while the rest of the world is up and about, often feeling to drained to get outside or even manage to string a coherent text message together. This is particularly tough when you live alone like I do now although I didn't get too much minding when I lived with my ex, he somehow expected me to put on my minding hat when I was stuck to the couch whimpering because I was ...

I know my last post was night duty related but seeing as I will be on night duty until Monday morning (when my last shift for the time being finishes) this is my life right now. I will say having done nights I can fully understand why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. I have done 5 nights so far (four more to go) but it feels like a lot more and it is fair to say that nights have kind of taken over my life (for now). The thing about nights is that while the whole staying awake at night part is tough. Especially when you have all the physical work done, everyone is asleep and I am too brain dead to do any paperwork in a coherent fashion. That's the bit where you feel as though you might actually die from tiredness and then surprise yourself time and time again by surviving. Then the morning gets going and the busyness keeps you awake until hometime. So you drive home and fall into bed only to find your mind buzzing and you wait for sleep to come. I once tried a tri...

In case you didn't guess by the blog title, I'm on night duty for the first time since January. This is not my first time doing nights so i knew what to expect and it's fair to say I have been feeling less than enthused about the prospect. I have done enough night shifts in various different settings to know that categorically nights do not suit me. I have always been a bit of a cranky pants without sufficient sleep, anyone who knows me can attest to this. Then the other issue is my body refuses to compensate and allow me the type of catch up sleep I need the next day. I'm pretty sure if i was to land a job of just night shifts id be dead or a hermit within the year.  Anyway I started night duty on Monday night. It is fair to say I was ill equipped for the occasion. I had been up early, unable to grab a much needed nap that afternoon. My mind knew i could do with extra sleep but my body refused to cooperate. I also went to work on one coffee because I was hoping les...

As a grown up making friends is really hard to do. I moved to Kilkenny a short time ago and I still don't know very many people which I know is normal but can still be tough at times. It doesn't help matters that having worked here the last two years, I didn't exactly import a load of friends from Waterford either. Some people make friends very easily but I have not been one of those and mostly I am okay with that. I am not your usual woman and in many ways I am an acquired taste. I don't always make the best first impression but usually over time I grow on people or else they take an instant dislike to me. I am the marmite of people. Over time and as I have gotten older I have grown to accept myself a lot more. I no longer look to change my quirks but accept my uniqueness and hope to befriend others who think its a plus. I'm also very good in my own company which is good because I have been spending a good bit of time in it since moving into my own place her...

As a newly single woman I have made an extra effort to be more sociable and meet new people which goes against everything I believe in. Really all I wanted to do is rediscover the lost art of flirting. Well its been lost to me because I sure as hell got out of practice while in a long term relationship. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post this has mostly happened on the interweb. Naturally this medium has given me the opportunity to interact with any number of perverts and miscreants. Fortunately not everyone I have talked to deserves this label but I have noticed a worrying trend with the normal and somewhat nicer men that haven't been relegated to my blocked list. Naturally when you are getting to know someone you talk about your interests and often a comment on my now slimmer figure leads to me mentioning I crossfit. Despite the fact that majority of men I have spoken to do not weight train themselves, they are only dying to share their wealth of knowledge on the topic. N...

I was having a conversation with my sister the other day about getting stronger. Now I know have had many experiences that have given me emotional strength in their aftermath. As it often happens when you survive something bad you either be beaten by it or grow from it and I am very much of the belief that while we often can't control what happens to us in life, we do have control over how we respond to these events. I have lived an interesting life, much of which I will never care to blog about. There is no doubt that I am stronger in that respect.  However that was not what we were discussing. Even though we have had many a chat about the bigger issues in life and I truly believe that everyone needs at least one person in their life who can get beneath the surface level conversation and talk about the real things. For me that person is my older sister. What we were actually talking about though was the huge progress I had made in the gym over the last six weeks. It's a...