How not to do a break up

Its safe to say break ups are not my strong point. I haven't actually been in that many relationships and two of them were absolute disasters so its fair to say that when the time came to split with my most recent ex that I didn't have my own good example to follow.

The break up had gone relatively well up to a point. I mean obviously in the beginning I was horribly sad and cried a lot and ate more chocolate than should be legal for one woman to consume. But then I moved to Kilkenny and started to find my feet down here. I was exploring the city, attending girlcrew events and just being more active. I mean I was also receiving more dick pics than any woman would want to see online  ( if there in fact is a woman out there who actually requests them) so I suppose while I was enjoying my own space, the big bad world of dating didn't look terribly promising.

Then 3 months post split I ran into my ex in Waterford and we started contacting each other again. Even then I knew this wasn't my best idea so I just didnt tell anyone.
Always a good strategy if you feel you're making a mistake, if nobody knows then they cant point out the obvious.

Anyway the talking somehow moved on to flirty texting and then we agreed to meet up. Im not sure what I hoped to achieve with this because the relationship had ended for valid reasons and none of those things had changed. I did it anyway and carefully neglected to tell any of my friends.

This went on for a few months. Initially it was great because we both made an effort and it was like starting all over again but over time we slipped back into our old personas and I realised while I was working hard to be a better version of myself  (for my own sake) that he was content to remain the same.

Clearly this excursion had an expiry date because all the old frustrations were starting to bubble to the surface and it felt like there was no point sitting it down and picking it apart when deep down I knew I was half heartedly attempting to resuscitate something that was already dead. In the end I walked away feeling maybe it was time I started remembering who I am outside a relationship, a person within my own right.

The most frustrating part was the fact I couldn't turn to my friends to vent and break it all down because I had neglected to tell them about the dalliance in the first place.

There might be something to that. So hopefully now I'm wiser because I'm definitely older and will know better next time or at least that's the theory.

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