Fitness is an uphill battle

I am one of those people who would really like to be fit but just wishes the process was a little easier. There are some things that have stuck with me since my initial introduction to the world of fitness. I feel terrible when I stop working out, I no longer drink coke or eat at McDonalds so at least I can claim I have some standards. The rest gets a little muggy over time. I can go for months committed to eating healthily and working out but when I fall off the wagon I tend to do so in an epic fashion. What can I say I am not a girl to do things by halves. Usually it is something that prevents me from getting home to the gym and at first I think its okay because at least I am still eating good food but then that stops and I fall further down the rabbit hole.

My gym going has been patchy the last few months, my diet has not been great and so it is hardly a shock that my pants are starting to feel like they are attacking me. I don't have much energy and I have been eating a whole lot of feelings. If stress eating was an Olympic event then I'd certainly have won something by now. Naturally the wobblier I get, the worse I feel about myself and to top it off, I currently feel so unfit I am embarrassed about returning to the gym. Ideally I'd like to do my next few classes behind a room divider so no one has to look at me flailing around the place. 

I have been gently reintroducing myself to the idea of getting back into shape or at least flattening some of my rounder parts. I find it easier to stick with when I don't rush in head first. I am currently in the process of easing myself off sugar gently and wondering why I can't seem to remember that sugar is not my friend. The trouble is that getting back in shape is a slow process and I get frustrated when my body seems the same and the chocolate just goes on looking delicious. 

At the moment I haven't got a lot of hours in work, something that should pick up over the next few weeks but until then I am going to take advantage of the free time and get home to avail of some crossfit classes with all the pain and nausea that entails (whenever I take too long a break). My lovely sister did give me a quick workout yesterday to ease me back in. Something small , for time . It took me 10 minutes and I had to lie down for another 10 minutes after.Its been so long since I have done something with weights that when I woke up this morning I felt like I had been in accident. I don't know if this speaks more to the power of Crossfit (that you can get that sort of effect from a ten minute workout) or to my own level of fitness. Getting out of bed is a three step manoeuvre, sitting on the loo takes 5 steps, walking down stairs is a slow slow process. At least I know it was effective. Tomorrow I'll be a little tender and lot tired as I am after getting a new round of night shifts but hopefully at some point I will be ready to try another workout.

Fitness really is an uphill climb but once it becomes a habit its easier to keep it up so here's hoping I get through all the pain and the tiredness and the cravings and reach my end goal of losing enough belly fat that my tights no longer roll down on me.