The opposite of superwoman

I am currently sporting a rather impressive bruise which was acquired in a rather banal way and as it turns out this is not a new experience for me. I have begun to notice a pattern in my distinctly Lauraish mishaps that go beyond my usual being a klutz. Its somewhat amusing that considering I crossfit , using heavyish weights and swing from bars that its not from here my injuries stem but instead ordinary life activities that others complete unscathed.

My most recent bruise was acquired just this weekend at my sisters house. I was minding my nieces all weekend and on Saturday we had arrived back from an outing to a cold dark house. We had gotten back later than planned and I was trying to do all the things at once. I had settled them inside and my next task was to light the fire, as I went to do so I realised it needed to be cleaned out so off I went outside with a torch in search of a bucket. I found it on the deck at the back of the house but because of the darkness I did not realise the deck had become treacherously slippy from the rain. As I was turning to head back into the house I felt my legs go from beneath me and next thing I knew I was lying sideways on the ground feeling like I couldn't breathe. As I recovered I picked myself off and limped back into the house feeling very much and sorry for myself. I was pretty achey that night but it wasn't until the following morning I was able to take full stock of my injuries. One scabbed knee, a pulled muscle in my right leg that's making it awkward to drive and a rather angry looking bruise on my ribs. I'm probably lucky I didn't do worse damage.

As I said this is not the first time I've injured myself doing ordinary things. Just recently I caused myself quite a bit of pain by punching a door. Our apartment has super heavy fire doors and is really dark at night with the curtains closed. I had woke up during the night to use the loo and my boyfriend had thoughtfully closed the doors to both the living room and spare room so I was making my way there half asleep in darkness. I also didn't notice the bathroom door was ajar so I walked into what I thought was empty space and ended up punching a door, stubbing a toe and jabbing myself in the stomach with the door handle. Fortunately my middle is nicely padded so I was left with no lasting scars.

My most impressive feat to date though was back in my bookshop days when I battered my leg attempting to hang Christmas decorations. I made the mistake of standing on the wrong part of a stool and managed to both whack it off my leg and trip over it and I still have the scar to prove it. 
It just goes to show I am clearly a walking disaster. 



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