The socially awkward guide to going out,

These days I find going out for the night to be considerably more challenging. The main reason for this is that I suffer from social anxiety. The other factor is that I no longer drink. I did find alcohol to be a fantastic social crutch but it's been two years now since I last imbibed and honestly you think I'd have evolved into someone slightly more socially competent in that time. Spoiler alert, I haven't. Now don't get me wrong, I don't regret stopping. Eventually I reached a point in my life where alcohol took more from me than it offered and by that stage I was maybe having a few glasses of wine every two weeks or so. It was the equivalent of giving up something you don't really enjoy for lent, if lent was to last two years. I don't miss the hangovers or the fear that last days or the exhaustion and that awful sense of having done or said something really stupid. 

 So this leaves me feeling jittery still when a social occasion arises and with nothing to take the edge off the nerves. I have been managing this by over preparing when I have to go out. First I work out days in advance what I might wear. I'm now starting to look for something new to wear when I know I'll be going to something. My other strategy was to try on everything in my wardrobe and then tearfully declare I'm too fat for all my clothes. I find no social occasion goes well if I think I look like an oompa loompa. Then on to the morning or afternoon before said outing. There will be body scrub, deforestation (shaving of legs and underarms), some sort of leave in conditioner and ample moisturiser. I will put nail varnish on my toes even though they are never on display and then I will try and transform my face into something shinier (in a good way) and attempt to tame my very disobedient hair.

 All of this can take up to two hours and the best part is I won't look all that different from how I usually do and no one will know the work I put into looking extra presentable. Well I will know and it will make the transition from comfy couch to the big bad world of social interactions that bit more manageable. Tonight's event is a gig himself has put together so there will be good music and a reason not to have to talk to too many people I kind of know. But like Cinderella I may sneak off home early and begin to dismantle the polished face I have presented to the world and it will be like all the work I put into tonight never even happened. 

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