Some of the things I enjoy giving out about
1) People who cannot spell or grasp basic Grammar ( this is native English speakers only, I am pedantic but not mean).
Who are these people who can't differentiate lose and loose or to and too. How did these people make it into adulthood unencumbered? that part baffles me.
Punctuation is said to be the difference between helping your Uncle Jack, off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse. Obviously that's a hilarious example and I will hold my hand up (admittedly not very high) and confess sometimes in punctuation I have made slip ups and even in spelling but it annoys me when I do it and embarrasses me to think I might be doing it unawares.
Here's a secret that I have learned growing up, for the most part, people do not appreciate you helpfully pointing out their spelling mistakes. It is not considered socially acceptable to do so. no matter how much you want to. You will make more friends biting your lip (sometimes to the point of drawing blood ) while all around you people demonstrate that they didn't take much notice in English classes. rah !
2) People who go out in public in their pajamas ! who are these people and really are we as a nation losing the ability to feel any real shame. The only time you will ever catch me in public in my pajamas is if I suddenly start sleepwalking. I don't care if the shop is only around the corner or you don't feel like getting dressed, it still doesn't make it okay. I do wonder now that pajamas are considered casual wear for many does that make the matching tracksuit an equivalent of Sunday best and is this perhaps a fifth horseman which heralds the Apocalypse. That remains to be seen.
3) People who cannot tell the difference between a bookshop and a library. This does perplex me somewhat. There are many signs that we are in fact a retail establishment. We have many tills, we sell chocolates, gifts and cards and you have to pass all of these things before getting to the books. I secretly harbor a theory that if you are not intelligent enough to conclude you are in a bookstore then you probably do not possess the brain power to read anything more taxing than baby's first words and might I mention Usborne do some lovely variations on this theme.
4) People who ask really stupid questions. Who ever said that there's no such thing as a stupid question has clearly never had the pleasure of working in a retail or customer services based environment. I happen to know for a fact that stupid questions are very much a thing and I have been asked many of them.
Customers who want the 'merchant of ennis' or who cant understand why a bookstore does not provide live ants for their ant farm. People who arrive in the children's section and ask where the storybooks are and so many others. In the face of all this idiocy I am expected to remain calm and smile and not act like this is the stupidest thing I have ever been asked. In case you were wondering it takes considerable restraint.
5) People who never picked up a book before 50 shades of grey came along and who will now only read from the genre now being referred to as 'mummy porn'. Every time someone comes into our shop looking for another book like 50 shades a decent writer loses the will to live or at least I think that's how it goes.
I know I cry a little on the inside when I encounter these women.
I think to date the most insulting one I've read the blurb of was a story about a girl whose friend is kidnapped by an 'elite sex academy' (no I did not make this up) and the only way to save her is for this girl to go undercover as a pupil where I'm sure she gets tied up and has to do any number of rude things.
They are not trying anymore and the level to which they are not trying is actually insulting. How am I supposed to concentrate on my (whatever book I am reading at that point in time) very well written book ( with a plot and actual thought out characters) when I know that this drivel exists. I feel on some level that some men must have sat around a table and said 'we want to write some porn for women but in order for them to read it, it must have a plot of some description and clearly a woman calls for a plumber just isn't sophisticated enough'. Its not even the fact that these books exist that enrages me so but more so the fact that they are writing erotic fiction by numbers, in that you could easily confuse any number of these books with each other. The are merely following a template and changing some names. It is downright insulting to women.
to be continued............
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