a week underwater

 

I have spent the last week feeling as though I am underwate

r. My brain is not working as it should, everything feels slower and sluggish. There is a disconnect between me and the world and its almost as if I am watching life rather than experiencing it. 

I have been chalking this up as my body's response to sensory overload and assumed I had entered into some form of shutdown to cope with the too much of everything like a computer going into standby mode.

I seem to be going through a phase right now of being super honest with people rather than going through the complicated mental gymnastics that seem to be involved in neurotypical conversation. I am sure this is probably not appreciated by everyone I talk to but honestly I have bigger things to worry about right now. This however led to a very frank conversation with someone yesterday about what I was experiencing on a cognitive level as well as physically. It was rather difficult to clearly articulate my experience because lately my brain is not playing ball but I think I succeeded in getting the jist of it across.

Luckily the person I had chosen to word vomit all over just so happened to someone who knows a considerable amount about nutrition and we got into a discussion about as well as the whole coping with being autistic piece that I am currently going through that it is possible that my diet is lacking. Side note if you are wondering why I have managed 41 years of being autistic and more or less kept it together but am struggling to cope since I labelled it, well that's because knowing that there is vocabulary and explanation that encompasses my life experiences so far has caused me to be hyper aware of both the fact that I am autistic and also the ways in which it impacts me day to day.

Anyway in this conversation it was mentioned that this whole experience is probably putting my body under huge strain and it might be worth looking at ways to support myself nutritionally. Ironically had my brain been functioning recently I might not have needed someone to lead me to this conclusion.

so a lot of different foods were suggested but most of them are ones I know id be reluctant to eat, I mean I am autistic after all, being a picky eater kinda comes with the territory. I did add some more nutritionally dense foods that I am likely to eat, rather than just buy and allow to go bad in my press while I feel bad for the waste. I also bought a number of supplements to give me a helping hand and hopefully they will help and I will stop feeling so exhausted and fuzzy and start feeling more present in my own life. It's certainly worth a try 

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