It's almost the 10th anniversary of my 22nd Birthday

 
(me at 22 ) 
#
(me at almost 32, close enough) 

As it nears the tenth anniversary of my 22nd birthday, or my 32nd birthday in other words, I am trying valiantly to ignore how old I feel, especially when I remember how old I'm going to be and there's a bit of a holy shitballs moment.Mind you, that could be early onset dementia so perhaps that's to be expected. Mostly I will tell you I don't feel that old unless I talk to younger people and damn do they have a way of making you feel your age. I don't just mean the lingo you don't really see the appeal of but I am already noticing many of the pop culture references are a little beyond me and when I admit I am not really following the conversation, It makes me feel like I've just accidentally joined in a conversation about sports. Had I known what I was getting myself into I'd probably have just tuned out and read my book.

 The truth is some things have changed in the last 10 years and they aren't all bad. I don't see being in on a Saturday night as a social disaster, in fact I sometimes have to be lured out when my pyjamas are so cosy and my book is getting interesting (yes, I know this is not necessarily a good thing) and when I do make it out, I find the busier bars and night clubs are less like places I want to be in and more like how I imagine the seventh circle of hell to be. While I have a better grasp (most of the time) on how much I should really be drinking, my hangovers have reached a new level of epic, all together less vomiting but a lot more convinced I might actually die from sadness if nothing else. 
My diet has improved sort of but also gotten a lot more restrictive, It's almost like my body is really really angry about how I ate in my late teens and twenties (badly, in case you were wondering) and now likes to intermittently remind me of this when I willingly forget and try to eat something we have already established I am intolerant to (sometimes it's good to check in case anything has changed) but It's like having a really strict inbuilt food babysitter so on the plus side it will keep fat Laura at bay ( we didn't really like her so much). 
I have crossfit now, I will admit I have been wavering since December when I missed a whole month and haven't quite gotten my stride back but I'm hoping that soon I'll reach a point where working out doesn't just remind me how unfit I really am. The important thing is 10 years ago you couldn't have gotten me into a gym at gun point so it's all progress really.
I am making better relationship decisions, if I was so inclined ( and I'm probably enough of a nerd to actually do this) I could make some sort of graph comparing the douchiness (it could be a word) of previous boyfriends with my current one ( first decent guy I've ever gone out with. a fact this is in equal parts sad and novel to me) and it would be sufficient to prove my point. Surely that's a positive part of growing up. Check me out, learning from my mistakes like a real grown up.

 I'm told it's all downhill from here and I don't know if that's true but I think I will be lurching uncertainly into my thirties looking for more new experiences and less wrinkles and grey hairs, please and thank you. But I have asked a friend to give me back my twenties for this birthday so if she comes through on her promise, I'm just going to go with that instead.

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