Fatastrophe


Now you might be asking yourself what exactly is a fatastrophe ? it's a word I just made up to describe to describe the moment where you can no longer deny you've put on weight or a catastrophe involving fat.

I have been noticing the weight creep on recently and mostly pretending i haven't because denial is way more fun and that way I don't actually have to do anything about it. I'm not exactly scratching my head over the cause, I have been eating more ( especially the sugar) and exercising less so this is not rocket science. All the same, it doesn't make the whole experience any more pleasant.

Anyone who knew me / saw photos of me during my 20s can tell the whole thing was pretty fatastrophic and yes, when I say thing I do mean most of that decade. I wasn't completely oblivious. I did have functioning eyes so my weight gain was an undeniable fact but I did tell
Myself little lies about how bad I'd gotten and then id soothe all the bad thoughts with some sugary goodness. To be fair my diet was a lot worse then and I'd have been more likely to be sweaty from
Warm weather than any form of recognized exercise. This is just me reminding myself that no matter how bad I feel about my doughy mid section at least fat traveller Laura ( my
Affectionate nickname for 28'year old me ) won't be making an appearance.

For me my fatastrophe reared its ugly head when I started eating sugar again in 
Short bursts but it feels like It's starting to 
Get out of control so it's time I stopped it in it's tracks. A few weeks ago at the gym I accidentally weighed myself. Okay so strictly speaking it wasn't an accident but they had gotten a new scales so the guys could keep track of their attempts to bulk up and because I hadn't weighed myself in a while I stepped upon it out of idle curiosity and immediately regretted that decision. The needle jumped a little higher than i had been expecting and i couldn't lay the blame on a faulty scales or particularly heavy shoes ( damn, I knew I shouldn't have weighed myself in my steel toed docs ) at the time I shoved this truth under a rug and shuffled on with life but I need to face the proverbial music or this whole thing ( and my stomach ) is going to get bigger than
Me. 

My pants are tighter , there are certain tops I've been refusing to wear, I've a spare tyre that I could probably use if my car got a flat. My tummy and ass jiggle when I run ( without having actually seen this, I'm going to go ahead and assume it looks pretty sexy). I am not bloated and Its not the clothes I've on, my fat is whats making me look fat in my clothes.

Now all is not lost, my diet is not abysmal
And if I could kick the sugar habit, it would actually be fairly decent. Cutting
Out sugar is a lot easier to talk
About in theory than it is to put into practise but I swear on my very wobbly tummy that I am going to work on it. 

I am doing some crossfit a few times a week but I need to be consistent and Maybe walk more because an active me Is a better me. And I need to start keeping a food Diary again to shame me out of my gluttony, If nothing else.  
I will not let this fatastrope be the end of me. I'm Not going to sugar coat things because let's face it. I'd probably eat them too. So here's to a less wobbly me;  work pants that fit, and tights not rolling down my tummy and all of the good things that lie ahead for me when I finally get it all together 

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