For lent I'm giving up something, probably

Despite being raised Catholic, it hasn't really stuck with me. Not that I've abandoned Catholicism in favour of atheism or anything drastic like that but I do go about religion in a rather half assed manner. I am reminded of this when lent rolls round and everyone is talking about what they will be giving up and I am not sure I will really be contributing or at least if I will it will be purely coincidental. 

 Yesterday I believe I said I was going to give up chocolate (AGAIN, I know ! right ) and really I know I should for many many reasons all valid and what not but today I felt a bit sad so I bought some and ate some and then day steadily went downhill from there and It had me wondering is it not half assed to only to 39 days of lent instead of the full 40. Mind you, this might be me making excuses because I am genuinely worried about my ability to really quit sugar. Truth be told I need more than lent to motivate me, perhaps a rehab facility would take me in. It doesn't help that I am so completely lack lustre about the religious cause behind it all so I can't fully commit to depriving myself of something I want for 40 days just for nothing really.

 Perhaps I'll go the Father Ted route and give up roller skating or meat. Sure what vegetarian hasn't given up meat for lent. Maybe I should give myself some credit after all I got through ash Wednesday meat free just as you're supposed to but then again I have also gotten through most of the last almost 32 years without meat so it was hardly a stretch.

 It was one of those crappy days where I wasn't sure if I was eating chocolate because I felt crap or feeling crap because I just ate chocolate but I would be inclined to suspect it was a bit of both. Even if chocolate didn't create the problem, it sure as hell didn't solve it. Might be worth remembering that in my next moment of weakness. 

 It doesn't feel good to fall at the first hurdle and just continue to keep falling after that but sure where's the fun in actually learning from your mistakes. Perhaps tomorrow I can be stronger and make better choices and just pretend I didn't know lent had actually started yet. Or I might just continue to guiltily eat chocolate and let my body pay the price. 

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