End of an era

Nothing like a dramatic change to keep me blogging repeatedly on the same topic but you'll have to bear with me as its been an emotional day. Today was my very last day ever working the bookshop. So from now on while my blog name will stay the same and my book reviews will continue I wont really be bookshoplaura anymore and it feels pretty strange.
There is something strangely comforting about a job where you know exactly what you are doing because it feels good to be an authority on something and now my head is filled with a lot of useless knowledge about children's books and I don't really know what to do with it.

 I can tell you the plot of almost every picture book we stock because I have read them all. I can tell you off the top of my head if we have a book if given the name or the cover image. I know precisely where everything is because I put it there and while I am voluntarily giving the children's section away (because it was my choice to move my career on) I am still feeling weirdly territorial about the whole thing. I know that in a few days it wont matter if things are not arranged just so or ordered immediately but I think I best stay out of the shop until the feeling passes so I can absorb the fact that I no longer work there so it doesn't matter. 

 So tomorrow is my first day off where I wont have return to the shop looming over me and to stop me getting too nostalgic I shall remind myself I wasn't happy in the job and oh my God the boredom of January. So things like stock take and a possible wedding fair loom ahead but they won't be my concerns. I managed to accrue some holiday pay so I no longer need to stress about getting by between now and my first pay check in the new job. I have put away my name badge and filled a black bag with old work clothes, I have returned all the books I have borrowed and last night I even binge read one just so I wouldn't be giving it back half completed. 

 So you could say I am prepared for my new job and everything it might bring. I have a bag of stationary. I get to wear my own clothes every day which is tremendously exciting although I might need some new clothes. Tomorrow I need to call the tax office, talk to social welfare, visit the library for the first time and a million other things and maybe then the reality will hit. I am feeling excited for what the future might bring, sad at what I am leaving behind and maybe a little scared about being the new girl in a unfamiliar things but it's all good really. As The Riptide Movement song goes 'It all works out'.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more