Living alone vs living with others

Tonight my new flatmate moves in and I am feeling somewhat apprehensive about the prospect of living with someone new. My old flatmate has moved in with his girlfriend and I was a little annoyed about the change given how well my current living arrangement suited me. By this I mean that he wasn't home very much but he still paid half the bills so it was pretty much like living alone only much much cheaper.

 I have lived by myself before and I will admit that I quite liked the experience. The apartment itself was not great in that it was too dark and damp and absolutely freezing in the winter but all of that I aside I enjoyed it thoroughly. I liked leaving my cup by the sink and coming home to find only that. I liked shutting myself in there after work and not having to see other people again until I chose to do so, allowing me to read or blog or just relax in peace and quiet. I enjoyed mornings just pottering about, not having to worry about making small talk with anyone. If I had my way I  would be still be living by myself and I would be happy out in my arrangement. With my boyfriend calling over often, I am hardly likely to disappear and abandon myself to being a hermit outside the 9-5. Sadly living alone is incredibly expensive, rent is much much higher even if the apartment they are showing you is so small that you could reasonably cook breakfast from the couch and all you have is storage heating to warm you ( without a doubt the most useless form of heating there is) and then you have to pay for internet and electricity all by yourself which is a bummer as it turns out that you use just the same amount of internet and electricity for one person as for two.

 So this is how I found myself sharing an apartment with a stranger. I have cheaper bills and a better heating system and the place gets good light but just as I had gotten used to Paul occasionally appearing and sometimes studying in the kitchen for hours on end, I have to learn to live with a new girl, a complete stranger. I am hoping we keep slightly different schedules so I am not forced to make conversation in the mornings (it is best to not approach me at all in the morning if you can help it) and wait for my turn in the kitchen in the evenings. So far its going okay in that she arrived with a giant mountain of bags full of possessions and has disappeared into her room to unpack them. I  am still filled with many worries like what if she is messy or has lots of friends over all the time, or what if she stays in and I lose my space on the couch and I am forced to cower in my bedroom resentfully. I could go all night but I  won't. I can only wait and see and dream of richer times ahead where getting my own place becomes a reality instead of a wistful recollection. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more