The Grown up chronicles

It's getting to that point again where my next birthday looms and I quietly panic about getting another year older. In nine days (not that I am counting) I will be 34 (eeek) which is definitely a proper grown up age. Now I am wondering when I will actually feel like one. At my age many of my peers are hitting the usual milestones ; marriage, babies, mortgage etc and on some level I am aware that these are things I should probably be thinking about now. Well except the whole marriage thing which has never held any real appeal for me but I don't feel any urgency. Perhaps I will reach my mid forties and panic that I forgot to sort those things or perhaps I will have those things neatly tidied away by that point but regardless I worry about other more tangible things and leave those for an older Laura to handle.

 This year for my Birthday I would like to not feel permanently exhausted so if anyone hasn't got me a present yet that would be lovely. Failing that I would like some willpower when it comes to sugar (bane of my life) but I will also accept books, stationary and pretty clothes that hide all my wobbly parts.

 For me 34 means looking forward instead of dwelling on the past and maybe getting a foothold in this career ladder  I have been hearing so much about. I do like what I do now but I think the time has come to expand my horizons a bit and actually move into a social care job with a bit of security. Naturally for me the first step is to become less terrible at interviews which unfortunately I can only do with practice. That would be fine if the thought of being interviewed didn't make me feel very sick and sometimes forget the English language. It is hard to convince a panel you are worthy of a job when you can't manage a coherent sentence in English.

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