The last hours



This is not the first time I have worked nights so it would be fair to say I know what to expect. I sit at home drinking a coffee and my bag is packed. I have snacks and tea and things to doodle on, I will be wearing extra layers for the cold part of the night and I know there will be jobs to do in work to keep me going so fortunately it wont be a night of sitting. All the same I feel apprehensive heading in.

I am less worried about the night itself and more so about the last hour and the drive home and then the overwhelming tiredness that follows plus the way that there never seems be enough sleep to fill the void and then before you know it you are up drinking coffee, with a bag packed, preparing for my next night at work.

All weekend I have been preparing myself for what lies ahead, the nights at Christmas and trying to make sure I am as prepared I can be and stocking up on sleep as though that will insulate me against the sleep I will be missing in coming weeks. Today I could feel the clock ticking away, each hour bringing me closer to the long night ahead and while it was in the plan to get at least an hours sleep this afternoon, my body would not submit to resting. 

And so I find myself trying to make the best of the situation I am in. After all in two hours I will start my night and in 14 hours time I will be back in my own bed, a bit later than I would like, trying to gather as much sleep as I can amid the days noise. 

But for now I write one last blog post while sentences don't yet seem like an impossible task and I count down my last hours of clarity before the marshmallow brain kicks in. 

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