The fault in our stars wasn't quite the pick me up I was looking for

Before you write me off as a complete idiot, let me inform you that before I downloaded The fault in our stars, I had in fact read the book (and all of John Green's other books) so I wasn't expecting some cutesy love story. I do still remember how much I cried while reading the story. I knew that death was going to be a big factor given the plot but I was surprised by how incredibly sad it made me feel.

 As I bawled my eyes out during this movie, I found myself wondering why something like this gets me quite so upset and also why would I willingly put myself through that. 
I have always been a little on the emotional side. So if you ever have the misfortune to make me cry then know that it's not that big a deal. I cry very easily and over lots of things. Like maybe you shouted at me or said something particularly mean or just fed me chocolate or wine. I still find it strange how I can watch a movie that really I should have no emotional investment in given that I don't personally know any teenagers with cancer but still feel like my heart is breaking when one of them dies. I apologize if that just spoiled it for anyone but I would think at this point in time it's a well publicised fact.

 Usually though I will avoid a movie guaranteed to make me cry. If someone tells me it's a weepy then I'm usually like no thanks. I'll cry for some other ridiculous reason but I wont subject myself deliberately to a movie that is sure to bring me to tears. That's easy enough to do, forbidding myself from watching anything Nicholas Sparks has a hand is hardly a hardship. The fault in our stars was different because the book had such an impact on me that I wanted to see how the story played out in movie form and enough time (or books) had passed in between the two for me to successfully forget quite how upset I had been about the books ending.

 So I was left somewhat devastated and very streaky (from tears) and very glad that my house mate did not arrive home to this alarming scene and think something terrible had happened to me. 

 It's not the first time a fictional story has reduced me to tears. I know I've cried in other movies when a death has surprised me and I can think of a few books offhand that have made my eyes water dangerously. A few months back I had started reading 'the last days of rabbit hayes' in the hairdressers and had to put it down after a few pages because my eyes had gone so watery that I was worried the hairdresser would think I was really upset about what she was doing to my hair and that was before I got to the really sad bit. Fortunately I was alone when I finished that book because I'm pretty sure Stephen would have been a bit scared.

 Not to mention the fact that I watched every episode of Grey's anatomy and you could almost guarantee I would cry at least once per episode and sometimes when it was really pulling on my heart strings, I would find myself wondering why I voluntarily watch something that upsets me so much.

 I'll admit its a mystery I'm still puzzling over. For now I'll do my best to stay away from the sad stories and be on my guard in case one slips past accidentally into my to be read pile. 
And after watching that movie, I need a pick me up more than ever. I guess I picked a bad time to quit chocolate again.

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