The gratitude diaries

When you're feeling down then it's actually quite easy to feel unhappy with pretty much everything. Lately I have been caught in a negative spiral that's tough to get out of and it's made me a pain in the ass. I'd say just ask my boyfriend but I don't think I'd like how many examples of this he would be able to recall off the top of his head. Anyway I've been pretty miserable for a number of reasons and I can't say it's working for me as a life strategy so I think I'm going to try something new. 

 During a sort of pep talk with my dad today, where I was expressing my dissatisfaction with certain elements of my life, he made the point that I was getting too caught up in the parts that were making me unhappy to the extent that I was neglecting the aspects of my life that didn't. I'm not exactly quoting him verbatim here but that was the general gist of the conversation. I think he might have been on to something there. Now I know when I go home for a visit that part of me tends to revert to my inner teenager, even at 32, so it's hard to admit that sometimes my parents offer valid advice. Actually most of the time they do but I'm usually too stubborn to admit it. 

 So here I am stuck at this pity party for one and I don't know about you but I'm not having any fun here so maybe it's time I actually did something about that. I am aware that I can't change every aspect of my life with immediate effect but that doesn't mean I can't change my attitude to it.

 I am unofficially announcing my intention to start a sort of gratitude diary. I haven't even decided yet if it will involve me actually writing this stuff down but I have a feeling it might have to or otherwise I am going to find it far too easy to forget about it in a few days and find myself back in this slump I have been trying to crawl out of. Don't get worried and think I'm going to go all Demi Lovato on you. If you don't get the reference, she wrote a book with 365 inspirational sayings ( I only know this because we stock it in the shop !), one for every day of the year. Oh and she's a singer, I think off american idol or some such reality show. Anyway it's not going to be anything like that. I won't be saying prayers before mealtimes or peppering my mirror with inspirational sayings on post its. Mostly because I probably have a little bit of vomit in my mouth every time I accidentally read one while checking my reflection. Well that and my boyfriend would possibly die laughing. Also I think it's a fundamently unIrish practice to talk yourself up like that. I couldn't possibly take it seriously.

 So I'm thinking I'll take a few minutes each day to jot down the things I am grateful for and perhaps this might make me appreciate what I do have instead of commiserating myself for what I don't. I even contemplated the 100 days of happiness challenge but 100 days is a really long time to be happy. Is that even possible. I'm almost certain I wouldn't get past 5 before my natural crankiness took over and derailed the whole thing. Plus if I was to take a moment on instagram (surely that would  be less annoying than inflicting it on my facebook friends) would I not be sharing mostly the same things repeatedly. Namely Strawberries, books, crossfit and maybe the odd mention of Stephen ( not in order of preference, I am just really uncomfortable declaring my feelings on the internet ) and okay perhaps there might be one or two other things. With my track record for abandoning resolutions, I won't be committing to that just yet. Let me get through a week of happiness and see how I get on from there. As always I'll keep you posted. 

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