Big fat scary changes

It seems lately I am all about making big changes or perhaps its a coincidence that it's all happening so close together. Just two months ago I was living in Waterford, unhappily ensconced in a long term relationship and driving up to Kilkenny every day bemoaning my commute. I think change was always on the horizon but I was busy burying my head in the sand and telling myself I would work it out later. 

Obviously I am sure you all know by now (unless you have the misfortune to have stumbled upon my blog for the first time just to read this post) that my relationship came to an end and I already had a plan in my place before I had even fully picked up the pieces. Possibly the only benefit of having anxiety.
So here I am two months on and actually I am doing pretty good. I am finding that living alone is suiting me and I am really glad I managed to find a space of my own away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I like living near the city but I also need to be able to retreat. I am also finding that its not as hard as I thought it might be to be apart from my ex. I don't know if this is because I have plenty going on to keep me distracted or perhaps just that breaking up was the right move but I'm not looking to over analysis it. Things are good, let's leave it there.

Now that I have settled into Kilkenny, adjusted to single life and found a healthy lifestyle plan that works, it is time for my next big change. I am currently working as Health care assistant in a large residential facility. It's great and I love the job, well at least I love most aspects of it even though it can be really tough, exhausting and frustrating. The thing is I have been trying to get myself into social care for so long now. It's what I studied in college and I feel like I could be really good at it once I find my feet. The good news is obviously such a position has come up and I have been waiting since I got the news for it to actually start. I haven't exactly been pushing for it either because I knew this new job means leaving the house I am in, where I know the people living there and I feel confident in what I am doing. The new position is within the same organisation but a smaller house out in the community with me as a social care worker so a whole new ball game. 

Tomorrow will be my last in my current job, my last day as HCA. This is scary and weird and a little bit sad but also exciting because there is a lot of possibilities right outside my comfort zone and if I don't scare myself a little then I will never change. I think I will be a little emotional but I also think I would prefer to slink out of there without making too much of a fuss. Next week I will be starting a brand new chapter and embracing all the big fat scary changes that come with it. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more