The art of sitting still

Ever since I moved to Kilkenny I have noticed that I have a bit of a problem. Admittedly there are worse concerns than mine and this is hardly likely to spark major concern among my friends and family. The problem is this. I seem to have forgotten how to sit still , to do nothing, to relax. 

 I'm not sure why this is. I have a mountain of books dying to be read, half decent internet and a bed so comfy it begs to be napped on but I  just can't seem to stop going long enough to do any of these things.

 I will say my new fitbit isn't exactly helping the cause. I'm enjoying watching it record my levels of activity and it prompts me to take more steps than I ever did before. 

 In work I am constantly moving and once home Im usually too exhausted to do much of anything. I'm falling asleep before I have really had the chance to unwind. 

 Then my days off come around and you must be thinking surely I will have a lie in, snuggle beneath the covers and read my book but no, I drag myself from the bed and into gym clothes and go train before I can contemplate a different kind of morning. Sometimes I run into town before coming home to eat and shower and rush out the door again to run errands or walk or meet friends for coffee until I no longer can avoid going home.

 I'm not sure what really keeps me away. Is it the silence that echoes through my new home. The feeling of aloneness that follows me there. I used to covet my own space and I am sure that soon I will again. It will just take time for me to settle in Kilkenny and find my feet and then I'll be cosied up and relaxing like the best of them.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more

How long does it take to learn to drive?

Image
I remember my nieces a year or so back asking me in an incredulous tone how long it takes to learn to drive because for as long as they could remember I had L plates on my car. The answer in my case is four years. Admittedly I probably could have gotten my full licence sooner if I hadn't been so hesitant to do my test in the three years that have passed since my last attempt. I get very anxious during tests or Interviews and so do not perform particularly well at either. I will put that in my list of things I need to work on in the new year. In time since I have learned to drive I feel I have accomplished a lot and yet I will go out of my way to avoid having to parallel park because I feel like its always going to be my Achilles heel. At least I have come a long way from the days when I used to feel anxious about getting into my car and was likely to bunny hop across roundabouts in third gear. The problem with learning to drive is that the older you do the harder it is and I wa
Read more