The bitchy resting face phenomenon

If you're not familiar with the term 'bitchy resting face' then take a seat and allow me to educate you. When your face is at rest, such as when you are not feeling any particular emotion, most people have a blank neutral expression. Some people, however, tend to have a default expression that makes them look like a bitch and hence the term bitchy resting face. See the photo above for clarification or type that term into a google images search and you will see an array of celebrities afflicted with this condition. As it happens, I am not one the unfortunate ones. No, my neutral expression tends to make me look sad, lost or confused depending on who you ask. Not that I have sat around trying to feel nothing just so I could ask people to judge my facial expressions. I do find, however, that when my face is at rest, that 'are you alright?' is a question I get asked a lot.

 I do happen to have another problem and I am not sure if I am the only one here. Perhaps I will discover there are more like me and we can form a support group. My problem is that people have grown so accustomed to my sarcastic quips that often my neutral tone of voice is interpreted as being sarcastic. I don't see anything wrong with a bit of sarcasm provided you don't use it maliciously. But my sarcasm is generally intended, it's not a happy accident that I have said something witty, usually it's well thought out. Unless you count the times something comes into my head and I find myself voicing it aloud before I've fully thought through the implications of saying it and factored in things like my audience and my location ( there are things you say to a friend that you probably shouldn't say to a colleague or stranger). Yet it still upsets me when I make an ordinary remark and people quip that they should expect such sarcasm from me. 

 There are also the times when I am explaining something to someone I don't know so well in what I believe to be a neutral tone ( no animosity intended) and they look at me like I've just been unbelievably rude. Truth be told, it worries me because in my own head I don't hear any sarcasm or snarkyness at that given point in time. It has lead me to wonder is there such a thing as bitchy resting voice and am I the only one who suffers from it ??

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out....
Read more

How long does it take to learn to drive?

Image
I remember my nieces a year or so back asking me in an incredulous tone how long it takes to learn to drive because for as long as they could remember I had L plates on my car. The answer in my case is four years. Admittedly I probably could have gotten my full licence sooner if I hadn't been so hesitant to do my test in the three years that have passed since my last attempt. I get very anxious during tests or Interviews and so do not perform particularly well at either. I will put that in my list of things I need to work on in the new year. In time since I have learned to drive I feel I have accomplished a lot and yet I will go out of my way to avoid having to parallel park because I feel like its always going to be my Achilles heel. At least I have come a long way from the days when I used to feel anxious about getting into my car and was likely to bunny hop across roundabouts in third gear. The problem with learning to drive is that the older you do the harder it is and...
Read more

Burnout: the sequel

Image
  I am burnt out. Hardly the most shocking declaration given I have been saying it out loud for a while now but here we are. This isn't my first run in with burn out nor will it likely be my last. Not only am I working in a stressful job, a social care worker in residential care, which is no stranger to burn out but also I am autistic so its like I know a secret short cut to getting there. I think as bragging goes this is up there with declaring how many times I have managed to catch covid. Which is 4 at my current count and they say there are no benefits to working in Health care. If you are lucky enough to not have experienced burnout then I can tell you its not an experience I would recommend to a friend. If you have friends working in social care then you probably wont need to.  Some of the things I have been experiencing are random bouts of crying. Given high sensitivity is part of my autism profile, I am no stranger to crying and the first time I experienced burnout it t...
Read more