Steps to getting over someone

(not a photo  of me post break up just an old photo of me crying because it felt appropriate)
I have been through break ups before and lived to tell the tale so I know how this goes. I was only mildly traumatised by my last break up and that was a pretty awful relationship so I have high hopes for how well I will bounce back from this admittedly flawed but altogether more reasonably adjusted relationship. I just don't seem to be doing all that much bouncing back yet.

I know there's a stage where I will feel inexplicably sad, where I wont be able to talk about him without crying and where everything reminds me of him. I know this stage only too well.

And I know there will be a stage where I am angry about all the tiny injustices unaddressed in the course of our relationship and the not so tiny ones. I will be so very angry and I will vent in an incredibly venty way but not here because after all he is still a person I loved and that would be horrible.

There is a stage where it doesn't matter as much, where not everything hurts or infuriates me. Where I can think his name without being filled with emotion.

There is the stage where I remember that despite everything I have been through that I am woman who does not look like a troll and some male attention from a safe distance might actually be nice. This stage is usually early enough in so there is a strong likelihood I would run very far from anything other than mild flirting.

There is the stage where I actually start to appreciate my own company again and learn to like doing whatever the hell I want. This is where I realise I have no obligations, no social occasions I am attending against my will, no need for me to feel terribly uncomfortable and freedom to be as introverted as I like.

I don't think there is a stage where I look at recent online photos of him trying to determine if he's happy without me and slowly drive myself mad. That definitely does not seem like an official stage of breaking up so it's really good that I have absolutely not done this. 

I am a reasonably smart woman who understands that break ups follow their own pattern but somehow there is only so much comfort I can draw from this when I feel stuck in the sad and regretful stage. This is not to imply I'm delusional, I'm not holding out for us to work things out but I am still allowed  to be sad that we couldn't. I guess I should just accept that this is where I am at and maybe be glad that because I don't drink anymore there is no danger of me sending him regretful texts. So I will just hang on in there and hope that some day soon I move on to the next stage. 

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