Stronger because....

All of the things that have happened to me so far in life have shaped me into the woman I am today. You could say I currently have a 100% survival rate because I have survived every bad day so far. I always find it strange when I recount things that have happened a long time ago and find myself becoming tearful because it brings home how much an impact certain experiences have had in my life. I can't change my past though, however much I want to. I can only learn from it and try to find that tiny sliver of light in even the darkest days.

 I was bullied quite a lot in my secondary school days and this has cast a shadow over my memories of those years even though not every day was terrible. It led to me suffering anxiety and depression in my final years in school and not getting the results I wanted or being willing to ever go back to school to repeat the subjects I messed up. As shitty as this was at the time I am a stronger person because of this. I did eventually redeem myself in college many years on as a mature student and by then I knew I had chosen the right course and worked that bit harder because I had travelled down a longer road to get there. 

 With the exception of most recent ( also longest relationship) I have been in some pretty terrible relationships. I have dated horrible, emotionally abusive men who told me I was nothing and I stayed with them because on some level I believed they were right. 6 years ago I found the strength to walk away from my last ever emotionally abusive relationship and the stress of said break up ( plus a horribly stressful job I was in at the same time) ended up putting me in hospital with stomach problems and left me with crippling anxiety. I sought help because there's no shame in asking for it when you need it and after a few months of counselling I realised I was worth so much more. This is why I walked out of a relationship that wasn't making me happy  ( even though I still loved the guy). Im no longer going to settle for less because I'm stronger now.

 I'm stronger because after 6 years, with me quitting and restarting and quitting again. I have returned to strength and conditioning training with avengence, determined to make so much more of myself. This has taught me that it doesn't matter how many times you fall down so long as you get back up again.

 I have survived all of this things and more. Whatever life throws at me next, I will survive that too and be stronger for it. 

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