The power of habit




Habits are a funny thing, we all have them. Most people will only refer to their bad habits like laziness, gorging themselves on junk food, drinking etc and I know there was a time when I could have counted those and many more as habits of mine. 

I have stopped drinking for a few weeks and junk food is a thing of the past for me but that doesn't mean I'm entirely vice free. I'd be better off but a little more boring if I was. I still live a life swaddled in bad habits I'm struggling to quit, except I'm not all that sure I'm doing very much about them. 

I like things a certain way. I prefer to sleep my own bed ( It's the cosiest ) and will only eat certain foods and can't stop judging books on Their cover and people on their 
Appearances, try as I might I still hear my brain gently whirring around in the background, whispering snap judgements to me. 

I am sarcastic as a first response, I can't help putting myself down or saying the first thing that comes into my head. I have pretty high standards when it comes to relationships but it seems I abandon all of them the minute I meet someone. I have good instincts and yet I constantly go against them, ignoring that feeling of unease that disaster Is looming around the next corner. All of these are bad habits and I'm only getting started.

The funny thing is when I started writing this I meant to talk about good habits and yet I got sidetracked, busy painting pictures of my flaws. It is not as though I am a terrible person. My bad habits do not include bigotry, cruelty to animals or being mean to small children. 

In truth, all habits are subject to change.
The habits I had three years ago are a lot different to the ones I am stuck with now for the most part. I am now in the habit of eating much healthier and that's a good thing, right ? Once something like that becomes a habit it feels wrong to stray from it and in times of hunger I am more likely to be seen snacking on almonds than biscuits. Exercising has also become a habit for me, the longest I've gone without doing anything, since I discovered crossfit is one week, and it just felt like something was missing. Because you really can miss being sweaty and sore. I am in the habit of drinking more water, going to bed at a decent hour and watching how much I drink and I a lot happier for it. I'm getting out of the habit of excessive people pleasing, saying no when I really want to and it feels good to not compromise myself. 

habits are a funny thing and I'm working on having my good outnumber my bad but as always I'm a work In progress 

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