I hate you the most

Today Laura is not a happy camper, not a happy camper indeed and it's all because of my stupid stomach. Now I will admit to having a tempestuous relationship with my stomach for many many years. It was always too big, too fat, too squishy and It totally wasn't my fault that my diet of crap food and my exercise plan of doing as little as humanely possible helped shape it so, or perhaps it is my fault but I'm not here to point fingers tonight because it's hardly the case these days.

I have mentioned before that my wake up call came when my stomach/gut problems got so bad that I ended up in hospital. It was like a magical combination of generally bad diet plus way too much wheat plus a whole bucket full of stress and it made me feel so wretched that I began to question my whole outlook on food.

Since that time I have steadily been working away on my diet and my health but it's been an uphill climb. I gave up wheat which helped a bit and then I gave up spelt once I fully acknowledged it was a form of wheat (this took me some time, denial not just being a river in Egypt and all that) and tried all sorts of anything just to feel better and have less of a belly and more like abs.

Now on the outside progress is being made, I even see lines that promise to soon be proper definition and for a girl who spent her twenties battling a fear of the muffin top effect, this is very very exciting. It would be lovely to leave it there and say all is rosy but it isn't. While you wouldn't know to look at me, something is causing havoc with my insides.

I have been battling IBS ever since I stressed myself into getting it in the first place and bravely made the kind of diet changes I would have previously laughed at in the hope of improving my wellbeing and it's all a little hit and miss. Right now I'm properly trying the low fodmap diet which is an elimination diet and I am cutting out all the foods they say cause symptoms for two whole months and then slowly allowing them to creep back into my diet so I can have a much smaller list of food that makes me sick.

The trouble is that sometimes I'm eating something and I'm wondering if this is okay because the list is too long to memorize and then thirty minutes later I'm hit by awful stomach cramps and I have my answer. If I eat too fast, don't sleep enough or don't have have proper meals then that can have a similar effect so sometimes It's a game called guess why I'm feeling so ill. Anyway two nights ago I had one such episode and I'm still guessing what made me so sick and paying the price every day since. I feel so ugh and so full of air that I have enough anger in me to write 10 poison pen letters to my stomach but I think that might be up there with sending a christmas card to your cat so excuse me if I pass.