The politeness complex

I was going to start off by saying that perhaps politeness as an epidemic is a truly Irish problem but suddenly I remembered all the terribly ignorant people I know and interact with daily ( joys of a job dealing with the public ) and I promptly wanted to take that statement back.  But for some of us , and you know who you are, are unfailingly polite almost to the point at annoying ourselves. Now I don't know how much of that has to do with my upbringing (thanks Mum) and how much is down to the fact that I am recovering people pleaser who isn't doing all that great a job on the recovery side.

Now you know you can be counted as one of us if you find that when you go to the doctors for some ailment and the doctors asks how you are, your automatic response is I'm fine thanks and you almost have to bite your lip to stop you asking the same question in return. Obviously if you're sitting in a doctors office you're not really fine at all. Unless you like to fork out 55 euro for the laugh just to spend 10 minutes telling a medical professional how you're in great health. I can't say that's how I get my jollies and chances are if I'm in the doctors I am feeling ill enough that you could tell with a glance that I am most definitely not fine.

Or you know when you're queuing for something for ages and someone just jumps ahead of you and you find yourself smiling politely as though it's grand sure you didn't mind waiting that bit longer when really it couldn't be less grand if it tried. 


Or when someone offers you a biscuit or help or a lift, whatever it might be and politeness compels you to say no thanks, I'm fine and you desperately hope they'll offer again because frankly it's just awkward to have to turn to them moments later and say actually I could with some help/ a biscuit / a lift. It's actually much more comfortable socially to pretend that you have been worn down by their repeated requests than admit you wanted to say yes the first time. 

It seems almost a bizarre affliction in this day and age particularly when given the amount of rude behaviour that is rife among the general public. When you're serving someone in a shop and they don't even look at you or put down their phone, when someone speaks to you as though you're a dog just because you happen to work in customer service or can't be bothered to form a sentence and just barks a book a title at you. It seems that there is very little common courtesy around and all that is left is a small number of people unflinchingly polite even when they shouldn't be .

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