The road less travelled


One thing I regret Is that I didn't travel more when I had the chance. It has not escaped my notice that at this point in my life things I regret if written in a list could fill a note book the size of war and peace and would be mostly filled With things I have done as opposed to things
I have not. Let this be an exception. 

I let my twenties slip through my fingers passing up the opportunities to do more and be more. If I was to cast the finger of  blame then I would look not only to myself ( for clearly I am responsible for my own inaction ) but also to my au pairing experience at 20. When l was 20 I had many plans. I had just completed a childcare course and I wanted to get out there and do things. I was going to be an au pair and I was going to travel and it was going to be great. And it was sort of, until I actually became an au pair and between the pockets of new experiences there were long gaps of loneliness and a home sickness so raw I could taste it. This was all compounded by the unwelcoming, difficult family that I lived With and a language barrier. All of this served to sour my experience and when I 
Returned home sooner than planned, suitably educated on the perils of au-pairing, I was glad to be home. I welcomed the familiarity of Ireland, of a house where I didn't feel unwelcome, of friends who could understand me without 
Me needing to dramatically slow my speech. It was all good until I found myself dreaming of travelling again and found that fear and finances and life had gotten in the way.

So now here I am a whole decade later ( quick pause while I freak out about how old that makes me feel) and I have barely travelled . All around me friends and acquaintances are travelling to Australia, New Zealand , Canada, the states and doing the obligatory trips around Asia and I am travelling only in my mind, in my books and perhaps a little vicariously through them and their photos and Facebook posts.

Now I know I am not exactly in my dotage so the fact that I haven't travelled isn't to say that I won't. right now though I am trying oh so hard to get my shit together and doing a rather terrible job and that takes precedence over any little jaunts to far flung corners of the world. When I find myself awake an hour before I need to be up worrying about the days I need off next month for a possible house move, I know I won't be booking tickets anywhere soon. But maybe this heart of mine will get to travel soon. I might just win the lotto but really I ought to start playing it. 

Comments

  1. Tinkering Tilly18 September 2013 at 04:45

    <3 <3 <3 I too have started playing the lotto Laura, because when you get the bug, theres no stopping you!I seem to be always looking for the next route out! I have a feeling were you to start roaming and blogging your way around the world, it might be another decade before we'd see you again!!

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