Lets take a walk down memory lane


I remember the first time I heard Eckhart Tolle speak. I was 19 and my dad collected me from the airport, I had just gotten back from visiting my sister in Spain and in his car he had this cd playing. I don't remember the words being said but I found it hysterically funny because Eckhart Tolle sounded a lot like Gollum ( how unfortunate for him) from The Lord of the rings franchise.

Years later I voluntarily picked up the book 'the power of now' and realized that he actually made a lot of sense and there's something to be said for his way of thinking. 'The power of now' is about how to live in the moment, not to be lost in past regrets/ victories or consumed by thoughts of your future. Honestly it's an area where I could still use a little guidance. It's all very well to read something and acknowledge it makes more sense than the way you currently live your life but it's quite another to actually implement the necessary changes. I think you can guess what stage I am at. Admittedly I have improved 
Over recent years but only marginally.

I recently saw a quote online from some comedian ( I forget who so forgive me while I paraphrase quite liberally)who was talking about the human condition. He summed it up as - have you ever done something stupid and then tortured yourself with it for 6 years. I think that pretty much sums it up. Now I am
Not one to live in the past. I have tiny bursts of nostalgia ( mostly for my college days) but I often feel the shadow of past regrets looming overhead. I seem to have 
Difficulty letting go and after all how can I torment myself with past regrets if I stop regretting them. 

I am a worrier by nature and it's hard to let go of that as I lie awake fretting about things far beyond my control. I am working on it just really really slowly and someday I hope to live more in the now but not in a spending all my bill money because I'm not worrying about next months rent until its due sort of way ( I may have felt a tiny flutter of panic just writing that). Let's not take a walk
Down memory lane. Less worrying and regretting and for once enjoy things as they are happening instead of once they've passed like a teenage girl too focused on taking photos of a moment to 
Actually be in it. something to live by or at least try to live by or maybe just deny I ever said it when I go back to doing things as they have always been done.

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