A few home truths

Being in a relationship is really hard. Now I don't mean the relationship itself because that seems to be going well so far. I'm happy, he's happy so lets not interfere with that dynamic. And trust me if it was the relationship itself I was unhappy with I would know better than to air such grievances on a blog that my boyfriend occasionally reads. I'm pretty smart like that.
No, the bit I am finding hard is the sheer effort that goes into making myself an attractive human being all the damn time. Hair to be fixed and make up touched up and changing into more attractive clothes before leaving the house. Things to trimmed and things to be shaved and flattering underwear to be selected. It's all quite a lot of work. Admittedly I am only gripping about this now because I have been having a particularly bad week. It's my time of the month, I think we'll agree that's a euphemism that were all comfortable with.  I wholeheartedly believe that always ( women's sanitary product  manufacturer) must have been off their heads when they came up with the slogan have a happy period because no such thing exists . Clearly a man was responsible for this. Having spent half my life thus far enduring this monthly discomfort I can vouch for the fact that there are no happy ones but some are less arduous than others. Let us be clear on one thing, this has not been one of the better ones. This has been a very bad one indeed. All week I have been feel wretched and it's been a genuine struggle to not take to my bed with a hot water bottle until this damn thing is finished. I picked a very bad time to be off chocolate. 

 But even with all of this going on, I have spent most of my day moping around feeling like a ginormous beast of a thing, all bloaty and bleugh and then in the evenings I pull myself together and put on something that is not my pyjamas ( that bit has been a struggle) and head over to my boyfriend's place while I do my best impression of an attractive human being. Mostly because as much as I wanted to comfy and just wallow in the misery of this particular week I didn't want to go without seeing him until I was a regular person again and I am not comfortable with the idea of reaching a stage in a relationship where you announce that it's all comfy clothes, granny panties and unshaved legs from here on in except for special occasions. It might be a little silly but I believe that so long as you're not living with someone then there's no need to stop making a bit of an effort when you see them. After all I can have all the fat, bloaty, lying on the couch in my pyjamas having a one woman pity party days on the ones where I don't happen to be seeing him. Maybe that's a little naive of me but at the end of the day this is only one woman's opinion. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more