January blues

Apparently according to those in the know today is supposed to be the most depressing day in the year and I can easily believe it. January is always upheld to be the most depressing month and much as I'd love to deny it, I myself am after coming down with a big old case of the January blues. As I trudged to work this morning in gale force winds and icy rain I saw the river was dangerously high and threatening to spew it's contents in the street and I felt in that moment the weather reflected how I was feeling. Utterly dismal.

 This January it's hard not to feel down. Firstly we have the weather which is usually appalling but this year has truly out done itself with raging storms for at least two weeks now. I find I am only stepping outside the door when I absolutely have to. I have a sneaky feeling my boss would not accept the weather is too yucky as a valid excuse for my absence.
Not only does looking out my window make my mood plummet into gloomy depths but going anywhere at all becomes a miserable hike of epic proportions and it's still dark really damn early. There might be a touch of seasonal effective disorder going around. Another side effect of this rotten weather is I am going outside a lot less so I'm getting less fresh air all round and who wouldn't be down in those circumstances. It's a very sad story.

 another reason would be the sheer poverty of January. now I'm pretty broke every month or week seeing as I get paid weekly but for some reason it feels worse in January, more exaggerated, more lifelong. Even though I was one of the few who didn't go mad at christmas time. I was incredibly restrained, I would say. I don't have any credit card bills to face up to for the simple fact is that I have never owned a credit card. A woman should know when she is not be trusted with plastic money (it just doesn't feel real) and God only knows I am bad enough with just my visa debit. With the small exception that January is the month I renew my car insurance but to be fair I put up with being broker every week just to set money aside for that so it's not like it really leaves me out of pocket. The other element to the poorness of January is no one is out shopping , not really and the shop is like a ghost town midweek. All standing around wishing there was more to do than tidying and my hands are shredded to pieces with paper cuts from removing stickers from books to be returned. 

 Then there's the epidemic known simply as the Christmas obesity. I didn't fare too badly this year, just a small few pounds in key areas but it still has left me feeling as sexy as a sack of potatoes. I didn't crossfit that month at all and at first I told myself it didn't matter because I was eating so healthily I was unlikely to see any weight gain but then I began my run of chocolate binges and that wasn't quite as true. Strangely the two crossfit classes I've managed in the last week haven't gotten me back in to shape nor has the cleaning up of my diet got me instantly feeling awesome and it all seems a bit unfair even if it was completely unrealistic for me to want things that way.

 Lastly my January blues can be attributed to my poor, depleted immune system. It really took quite the hammering this year and I'm still feeling the effects. I'm all pasty and tired and just wavering on the verge of another kidney infection that wont quite commit and it's been three weeks now since I last felt well. This is getting real old.

 I know somewhere deep deep down that in a few weeks it will be a bit less gloomy and I will be feeling better, fitter and happier but right now I am not feeling ready to look for lights at the end of tunnels. Just let me wallow in my January blues

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