can we still be friends?

Somehow I've accidentally left myself stranded in Waterford without a real social circle to speak of and it's probably lucky that I rarely have money for socializing because I am not exactly inundated with opportunities to do so. I have become so self sufficient that I will often completely forget to keep in touch with friends.

 If it wasn't for Facebook I probably wouldn't know what half of them are up to and in a way social networking becomes a blessing and a curse. On one level it allows you to keep up with the lives of friends you aren't getting around to emailing but then what happens is you see on Facebook that they have started a new job or dating someone new and they went on holidays and you look through all 80 holiday snaps and feel like you've actually been caught up on their life. I find after this I'll often forget I haven't actually spoken to them. It makes you lazy    
and then you remember that people usually just put the good stuff on social networking sites so you're probably not getting the full story and that photo-shopping yourself into friends pictures is not the same as hanging out (I have never actually done this).

 But the thing is that physical distance isn't the only reason I have drifted from friends. Some I lost contact with when I dated 'he who shall not be named' because a guy that controlling generally doesn't want you to have friends especially those that might try to pack a bag for you so you can run far far away. Some don't even live in the country anymore or live too far away for a day trip. A few have a child now and that changes the dynamic a bit. Many are pretty much the same people they always were or at least that's how it seems but I don't think I'm the same anymore.

 I don't just mean that I'm not fat anymore, even though that's a major change for me but my whole attitude to life and my health has changed. I'm not sure it's made me more fun to be around. Everyone loves the health conscious friend who's mad into exercising and doesn't drink much, right? So when you start to have less in common with the people you used to be close to the question is can you still be friends. Surely the dynamic has changed? 
although to be fair my sense of humor hasn't. I still find that I have to censor my jokes and tone down my sarcasm around pretty much everyone else because they just don't get it.

 I think that's what real friendship is about. Yes, obviously being there when needed is important too but you know you are in the company of a good friend when you haven't seen them in 6 months but after five minutes in their company you feel like it's only been a day or when you can say 'he betty' and they immediately know you are starting that Billy Connolly joke about the wildebeests. Or when you're trying to explain a feeling that doesn't quite have words to describe it and they just know what you mean. And Sometimes it's just that you have so much dirt on each-other at this stage that it's just safer to stay friends.

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