Food is a drug

I think this quote holds true. Food is one of the biggest things people use to deal with anxiety and it's fast becoming a really big problem. I think it starts when were small and given a treat for good behavior or a biscuit because you fell and hurt your knee. It sends the message that food is a reward, food is a comfort blanket and when you reach the point in your life when you no longer need to ask for permission on opening the biscuit tin you will find those things stay with you.

 I don't think people really think about what were eating and the effect our diet may be having on our bodies. Its almost as if as a nation we're in collective denial. I am equally lucky and unlucky that my body seems to act like my conscience when it comes to food whether I want it to or not. On the one hand I have to not over do the sugar or junk food because I will get physically sick from it but then on the other had I not spent so many years abusing my body by willfully eating all anxieties as though they were delicious belgian chocolate buttons then I wouldn't be in this predicament to begin with.

 I'm aware that giving up what's bad for you isn't easy because I know I struggled and for a long time felt that I was denying myself the things I really wanted to be eating. Thanks to my wheat intolerance it wasn't down to will power alone (or I'd have been rightly screwed). Nowadays I rarely crave the really bad stuff, the takeaways and processed foods, the bags of jellies and Haagen daas icecream (nom) so it makes saying no a whole lot easier but I cut them out gradually and for every bad thing I couldn't have I tried to find something healthier I could eat instead to avoid whittling my diet down so much that I was only left with raw carrot to nibble on. It's also a personal choice, when McDonalds was my hangover meal of choice (two large fries and large coke ) and I practically mainlined coke while also eating enough wheat based products to support a small family, I had no interest in hearing how unhealthy my lifestyle was. Yes, I was fat and miserable with it but I didn't actually want to do anything about it so all of the well meant advice only served to make me more unhappy and you know what I do when I'm unhappy, I eat. I'm working on hiding my abject horror when someone launches into a large meal from McDonalds or talks about picking up dinner in Iceland (if it's 40 cocktail sausages for €2 I dread to think how they cut their costs) because no one appreciates your input when it comes to their diet unless they specifically ask.

 I'm just going to try and focus on my own diet. My restraint could certainly use some work even If I occasionally cheer myself up my reminding myself that I've come along way from chip sandwiches on white bread washed down with a can of coke. Yikes, It's lucky I got the chance to change because I was heading for type two diabetes at that rate. Food is a potent anti anxiety drug but I am determined that it wont be mine

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more