When past mistakes come back to haunt you
I don't feel the need to tell many people this because for the most part it doesn't really matter at this point in my life but for years I was haunted by that question 'What did you get in your leaving cert?'. Truth be told my Leaving results were a complete and utter shambles and I've worked long and hard to get a degree just so I could remove my results from my C.V. Now here's a bit of background to put this into context for you. I changed schools just as I was going into 5th year because the bullying at my old school was making me miserable and it was showing no signs of stopping. Changing schools didn't actually help as much as it should have because everyone in my year had already settled in their groups of friends and no one really went out of their way to make me feel included. Now as it happens I did end up making friends but none of them were girls in my year which meant that during school hours I was pretty lonely and unhappy. On top of that I was still dealing with all of these feelings that had been left unresolved since leaving my old school plus I was a 17 year old girl so yes I was all over the fucking shop (if you'll excuse my language). School was not a happy time for me and while it might sound fairly melodramatic I remember during that time I was pretty depressed so I wasn't planning for a future. I was too busy going out and getting pissed at the weekends to forget how shit I felt the rest of the time to actually plan ahead so I found myself sitting my Leaving Cert exams bewildered and I think I might have actually made up a word during my English exam.
My results were understandably terrible given the fact that I hadn't actually studied and yet I was still devastated but I hated school so much that I couldn't face the thought of repeating my exams so I carried on and got into college the long way round. Now I don't know what I got in terms of points because I never actually totted it up but I wouldn't say it was much because I failed three subjects and then binned my results. Up until I got my college degree the ones I had on my C.V. were made up. Just in case you are wondering they don't actually check those things when you are applying for a job but you can bet you wouldn't get very far if you put bad results on it.
Now I'm sure I've mentioned this before but I've recently being going through a phase where I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life and more importantly what would I like to be doing instead and so far all I've been able to decide is that I want to work with kids. Not quite a eureka moment given that I would have told you the exact same thing if you had asked me at 20. Well done Laura, you've done a lot with the last 11 years. While I sit on my bum waiting for the job fairy to contact me with the offer of my ideal job, I've been giving it some thought. Recently I've started thinking I'd like to do Primary teaching but there's just one small problem with this and no it's not the money but that would be an issue too. Its the teeny tiny matter of my leaving cert or lack thereof. To be a primary school teacher in Ireland you need to have a B (I think) or above in Honours Irish. I did pass Irish in my leaving cert and while I know it's possible to re do just the one subject in order to qualify for the course but I'm quite certain that in the 13 years since I left school I have managed to forget more Irish than I even learned in the first place. I was reading about a teaching course where part of the interview for the course itself is in Irish and I thought there isn't a hope of me getting anywhere close to that level of fluency in the forseeable future. In fact I'm pretty certain my 6 year old niece, who's in Senior infants in the local Gael Scoil, would do a better job than me. Perhaps I could ask her to teach me.
So I'm trying to see if there's a way around this like an add on course I can do to bring me up to speed or is it back to the drawing board for me. Only time will tell.
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