Why can't I be more Like Audrey Hepburn?

If you've never seen Breakfast at Tiffanys then you might not be familiar with this scene where Audrey is woken and looks delightful with her hair in place and her eye mask gives her a more glamorous air. She's kind of my idol and she was everything I'm not. I don't think there's any danger of me being accused of being sophisticated any time soon. However I do own an eye-mask, in fact I have several, so that's something I have in common with a character she played. A tenuous link, to say the least.

 I didn't always sleep with an eye-mask. It was a habit I adopted during my second year in college and it was not because I was channeling Ms Hepburn. I had just moved into a new apartment and my bedroom window faced out on to an outdoor walkway and some genius had kindly placed three lights right outside my window which meant I had enough light to read by even with my light off and my curtains closed. I actually thought I was going to crack up and then I found an old snoopy eye mask (from when I lived in Switzerland and H&M went through their snoopy phase, you couldn't get sleepwear that didn't have him plastered all over it) and it did the job nicely, thank you very much. Unfortunately despite the fact that I have moved six or seven times since then (considering how much I hate moving apartments I sure do it a lot) I can't seem to drop the habit of sleeping with a sleep mask. Even in college when I moved into a much darker room I still kept wearing it but I had to make sure my bedroom was locked before I went to sleep or else I got the creepy sensation like someone was coming into my room and I wasn't able to see them with the eye mask on (the joys of living with strangers). I have collected many over the last few years and I feel a little burst of panic when I can't find it.

 When I wake in the mornings I'd love to say I push my sleep mask up and then yawn prettily as I greet the world. Looking respectable enough that I could happily answer my door first thing in the morning but I really don't want to lie to you. My morning routine is a bit more like this; I wake startled to the shrieking of my alarm and push my eye mask aside gingerly as I squint into the day light. As I stumble past the mirror on my way out of bed any  illusion that I bear even a passing resemblance to a sleepy Audrey Hepburn is soon shattered. I usually look as though I've been shocked awake, my eyes smudged with some runaway mascara and my eye-mask tangled in bed hair gone wild. 

 All I'm asking for is to somehow be a little more composed. To not be the one leaving the gym all sweaty and covered in chalk. To not be the kind of girl who would get crumbs in her hair if she ate a croissant. Or have that tell tale chocolate around the corners of my mouth because I ate a tiny square. To not be the kind of girl who consistently spills food down her top and always says the wrong things in company. Really can I not just be a little bit more like Audrey Hepburn.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The darker side of romance

Image
  For some reason I felt compelled to write about a corner of my past that hasn't been part of my blog before. a heads up to anyone who might be upset by this topic I will be delving into emotional abuse so feel free to stop reading now if you don't feel able to carry on. When I was in my late 20's I met a guy on a night out. He was a few years younger than me and honestly looking back threw up a couple of red flags early but I didn't trust my own intuition plus I was only a few months away from finishing college and planned to move to Edinburgh in a few months so it wasn't like it was going to be anything more than a brief fling. However as time went on I became more infatuated with him, there was an intensity there and he seemed sweet but damaged. Like a perfect modern fairytale I thought I would be the one to fix him. somehow plans changed and he was going to follow me over to Edinburgh, get a job there and we were going to live happily ever after. at this point
Read more

Help, I think I'm autistic

Image
 So I, at the age of 41, have come to the realization that I am autistic.  Growing up I always had a feeling something about me was a little bit off. I never quite fit in and I wasn't sure why. It was like everyone had been given a book of rules of how to exist in society but no one had thought to hand me a copy. Looking back with hindsight the signs were there. I was a super sensitive kid, a sensitivity I have not lost in adulthood, I cried very easily and felt every emotion very deeply. I was a picky eater and very particular about the textures of different food. I was very sensitive to light and noise and the feel of different fabrics. I was never a hugger. all of these things are as true about me now as they were when I was younger. I am socially awkward, I don't make friends that easily and will joke I am an acquired taste. Eye contact is something I have to actively work on and small talk feels like torture.  I thrive on alone time, I am incredibly sensitive to the moods
Read more

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out ..

Image
I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm sarcastic. Often that I'm too sarcastic (as though there could be such a thing) and I have retort up my sleeve for such occasions which is if you think I'm sarcastic you should meet my mother. No, really you should because my sarcasm is but a pale imitation of hers. Every so often though I come out without something that makes my friends or other family members pause because sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out.  It's funny how people always take the words you are turning into your mother as such an insult because the reality of the matter is it's a both a good and bad thing. Obviously there are certain qualities I am perfectly happy to emulate and others not so much and on the whole I am not entirely sure how much control I have over it. It's not quite a pick and mix counter here. I think there are some habits you are not even aware you have picked up until someone else kindly points it out.
Read more