Lets put those college days behind us

Recently I was making a card for a college friend and It got me reminiscing about my college days. I went as a mature student so I don't have to travel back all that far mentally. Now while I did find many elements of my course fascinating, that wasn't the part I tend to remember. Perhaps it's because My degree sits in a folder at home and I work in the completely unrelated field of retail, helping people who are literally too stupid to realize despite the many signs that they are in fact standing in the section of the shop where the books are ( some days it's a miracle that I don't bang my head against the customer services desk repeatedly until they go away) I think the fact that I haven't used it to further my career is probably why my college memories seem to center on the social side of things.

I could sum up my college days in two words drunk and hungover as I spent most of the four years in either of these conditions. Well I wasn't literally drunk all the day but I had a lot more hectic a social life I did now and we only really paused it when assignments were due or exam time was getting close. The other thing I now remember most about college is how fucking fat I was. People who know me now don't really get it because I made the worst photos go away where nobody sees them but When I look back over nights out I actually shudder a little and I'm a little sad to admit it has tainted some of my memories of those years. It was hardly surprising if you looked at what I ate and drank for those four years but this is not confession hour here and I'm actually a little embarrassed being open about what a savage I was back then. So yes I do know that chip sandwiches with full fat coke to chase it down isn't actually a meal as we know even if it seemed like a damn good hangover cure in its time.

And yes I  did drink too much, I was supposed to be the grown up as I was further in my twenties than all of my friends but I didn't want to be boring and sometimes it's hard to pace yourself when you're drinking at home and a little shaky on what actually constitutes a measure. Which probably explains why we always ended up with 80 photos of a night out mostly just us drunkenly posing, doing selfies before they were cool. or thinking the funniest thing ever was to pose with a saucepan on our heads (you had to be there). They were silly years where I had little respect for my liver ( it only took a handful of very vomity hangovers before I accepted tesco brand vodka wasn't really as much of a bargain as it first seemed) and not really all that more respect for myself. You only had to look at the clothes I could be seen falling out of to see that. When I was younger and fatter (but not really realizing quite how bad I'd let it get) I felt like I had to dress overly sexy to be attractive (my mum once caught me trying to sneak out hiding my outfit under a trench coat and told me I looked like a stripper dressed as a nurse. She has quite the way with words but she also might have had a point) but then I would get the wrong sort of attention on a night out and that only served to validate my already low opinion of myself. It's ironic to think that now that I actually have the sort of figure where I could get away with more revealing outfits I no longer feel the compulsion to dress that way. I can't think about college days without thinking about that and how I used to kiss random men and then run away and the poor guys would always follow me back to my friends where I would ignore them until they went away. Yea I was a real gem. and that wasn't the worst thing I got up to but I am ready now to put all that behind me.

I'm a grown up now (sort of) and my college days are behind me. Yes I had some good times and some fun memories but I wasn't happy then I just didn't really stop long enough to acknowledge it. I can laugh with friends about all our shenanigans but forgive me if I'm not ready to look at any more photos because  I am ready to move on. I am not that girl anymore. Let's put those college days behind us

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