One week on

It's been a whole week now since I said my farewells to the bookshop, it's strange because in some ways it feels like I was only in there yesterday and in others I feel like I have been a Pa for a lot longer. I have actually had a few dreams where I was back in the shop and it's been a relief when I wake up and realise there will be no more dusting or running to hide when I see my boss coming.

I have even managed to stay out of the bookshop since Friday, I have no money for books so I'd only end up tidying or answering a customer query automatically if I did pop in.

My routine as a Pa is different in many ways to my old job and drastically different to my own time at college, I don't think there will ever be a time again where I am sitting shakily in a lecture clutching a can of coke and fighting waves of nausea and I can't say I am particularly sorry about that. 

Parking at the college is said to be a bit of a nightmare so I have taken to walking there and home every day, it takes me about 30 minutes and to think I used to grumble to myself about my walk home from town when I worked in the shop. So far I've been lucky in that it's been cold (this morning was so cold I'd lost all feeling in my chin by the time I arrived) but no rain and I plan to deal with adverse weather as it arises and for now just enjoy getting there with a clear head. I am slowly getting the hang of the layout of the college, I was rather spoiled in that I did my course on the college street campus which is lovely and compact and far less confusing but most of the classes are in one of three buildings and its becoming less of a maze as days go on.

Some lectures are interesting, I particularly like the marketing ones as they are the most accessible and I think it's great that I get to sit in and learn this stuff as part of my job. I am aware this makes me a bit of a nerd but it's okay because I have made my peace with that.

Other lectures I can grasp okay but they are various levels of boring and there's one that's mildly interesting but the lecturer is mad as a hatter and makes these mad leaps when he's describing things, I wonder does it not make sense to me because I am only a few days or is everyone else looking at him blankly too. I mostly try not to catch his eye because I am not actually supposed to take part in classes and every time I look at him I can't help thinking he reminds me of a sea lion. So there's all that going on and that's fine but then we have financial maths. Math was never really my subject, I'll happily admit that to anyone who cares to listen but applying quadratic equations to business goes so far over my head it's not even funny. I just write everything down in the hope that it's all relevant and remind myself that I don't actually need to sit an exam in this one so I'll be fine.

Today I had to cover for another pa for an hour and found myself sitting in on a game development class taking notes, in a room full of men, feeling incredibly conspicuous.

Now I don't know what I expected from that lecture but I have never been more confused in my life. All computer jargon and what may or may not have been code and lecturer who was frankly a bit scatty. I left with a headache and feeling a bit more glad I was on a business and marketing course.

Other than that my college experience has been a little strange but not in a bad way. I don't talk to the other students, aside for the student I take notes for and I feel relieved at having that pressure to interact. It doesn't matter if I check my Facebook news feed between classes or read quietly to myself as I eat lunch. I actually like it even if I do feel a little invisible at times. Only time will tell if this continues to suit me and I hope to take up more hours over time from the agency that hired me. Although maybe not sit through too many games development classes.