It's a hen night, leave your dignity at home

So Tonight as I was making my way home from work I saw quite the vision coming down the hill towards me. Eight women, all dressed in neon pink coated in tan the color of Fanta, teetering dangerously. My first thought was oh it seems the hookers in Waterford must have unionized, hence the uniform until I realised it was clearly a hen night.

I have to ask, where exactly does it stipulate that when you decide to get married, shortly before the big event, that you must go out and get absolutely wasted while dressed like like a slapper/ slapper masquerading as a nurse and dance with a giant inflatable penis. Is that really anyone's idea of fun because it sure isn't mine. And its not because I'm a bit more of a grown up now, I never really saw the point and actually have frequently felt a little embarrassed for these women who looked as though they had been sown into their ill fitting costumes or persuaded not too gently by the bride to be that they wanted nothing more than to be seen out in public with a giant novelty net and a t-shirt that lets everyone know what pub they want to steer clear of ( wherever you see the hens heading)

I was in a gay bar down here one time, actually the only gay bar in Waterford called Dignity. One of those places you go to dance without being bothered by men and straight men often frequent hoping they'll have less competition when they make their move on women. anyway that's not the point, while I was in there I saw a group of plastered women clearly on a hen and one of them was slow dancing, in the middle of the dance floor with a giant inflatable penis and I thought well that's Ironic, dancing in a bar called dignity and clearly abandoning hers at the door. I decided against sharing my hilarious observation with her as I didnt feel  she would appreciate it.

I've seen women in ridiculous novelty tshirts, in stupid 80's gear, In tarty Ann summers costumes and the list goes on and on and on. Not that I go out much these days but I saw enough of it back when my social life was more active to form an opinion and I have made it very clear to all my friends, In the event that you decide to get married then yay great for you but just remember there's no way in hell that I will wear a costume, novelty tshirt, decorative hair band or use any sort of penis accessory and I might just have to question the friendship if you lose all sense of good taste and gravitate towards these things. One of my friends has been telling me she's worried about a hen night she's been invited on with an old school friend as its been stipulated that you have to dress up as a ballerina and the costume isn't very forgiving. I will say it's a lot classier than what most people go for but is it really necessary especially considering they may be women on the hen night who feel self conscious about how they look. oh wait, thats all women.

Now in return for my refusing to degrade myself for the sake of one night every one will want to forget I have offered out to my friends that in the highly unlikely event that I ever decide to get married (highly unlikely in that Im not fully sure I see the point of marriage as opposed to believing that no one would want to marry me, who wouldn't want to marry me. Im positvely delightful. ask anyone) that I will not subject them to dressing as hookers masquerading as 80's drag queens and no penis accessories of any kind will be present. To be fair that's as far as I've gotten in imagining said hypothetical hen night because I never really gave much thought to a future hypothetical wedding ( like the dress or the groom or any of that nonsense) so it would seem a bit weird to sit around making plans for the least significant part.